The Simpsons Designer Checks

When I write a check I always receive a smile from the person I give it to. Even when I send in a check through the mail, I'm confident that I'm the recipient of a virtual smile. That's because my checks are emblazoned with my favorite family. Other than my own, of course. The members of the family Simpsons decorate my checks. It almost takes away the pain of actually writing the check out.

Almost.

I got my Simpsons checks from a company specializing in designer checks. The company is called…Designer Checks. Well, for every point they lose in originality they get a point for easing the memory process. The checks only feature, alas, the members of the Simpsons family. As any regular or even casual viewer well knows, the cast of the show extends far beyond the titular characters, and it would have been nice to see some of them, but more on that later. These were the first Simpsons designer checks I'd ever seen, though a friend had told me he had seen others.

The checks feature each character in a single pose. For instance, Bart is shown looking up beyond the top of the check with a curiously satisfied look on his face, holding his left hand in a thumbs-up position. To the left of the amount line is a skateboard and beneath the word dollars at the end of the line it says "Looking fabulous." Homer is simply a headshot, his head tilted slightly. Next to the amount line is, of course, a donut and beneath the dollars it says "Donuts…is there anything they can't do?" Lisa's body is partially seen on the check to indicate she is in a slightly prone position holding up her left hand as if to indicate you should write just a little bit more clearly, and beneath the dollars it says "The truth must be told." Next to the amount sign is a saxomophone. Marge and baby Maggie share the final design, with Marge's tall hair bent back and Maggie peeking out beneath it. Next to the amount line is an oven mitt and beneath the dollars is says "The extra ingredient in care."

I also shelled out for the checkbook case. It's a nice black leathery material that features all five Simpsons family members in raised relief situation in various poses within a five star background.

It would be nice if some check designing company would create a series of Simpsons checks that featured some other non-family characters. For instance, you could come up with various themes like Springfield's most wanted featuring all the noteworthy villains in town; Springfield's immigrants featuring all the best characters who've arrived from another country; or else themes such as school-based characters or nuclear power-plant characters.

I hate banks. I hate the way they think they are doing you some kind of favor by allow them to use your money. I hate the way they charge you twice for using a machine to get money, as if they aren't saving money by not having to pay extra tellers. But if you have to use a bank - and America has fixed it so you absolutely have to in order to survive - you can at least make the act of writing checks somewhat less horrible. I do that by using my Simpsons checks.