The Single Parent Family Advantage

Single parents are often afraid that their children will be damaged from only having one parent in their home, and the results of so-called studies often do little to placate their anxiety. Your single parent home can actually offer many advantages for children.

Other research has shown that a home filled with conflict is one of the worst situations for raising children. If there was major ongoing conflict between the two parents while they were together, living with one parent may reduce anxiety and stress for the kids. And, if the parent is no longer devoting so much time and effort to the conflict, he or she may have more emotional resources to give to the kids. If all the kids see is conflicted relationships, this will be their model for their adult relationships. By residing with only one parent, the child may have a chance to observe healthier adult relationships.

Kids will learn how to deal with adversity and change since they lived through the divorce of their parents or from the stigma of being in a home where there has always been just one parent. As no life is perfect, the kids will be taught important lessons from going through less than ideal events. Your child's life may not be the perfect picture that you and he had envisioned, but there still can be loads of fun and love in your home.

A single parent may actually have more time for the kids that a married parent would have. Since there is no longer a spouse around at mealtime, meals don't have to be as substantial and can be structured around kid-friendly ingredients. If your former partner was not very involved with housework, you may have more time since you now have one less person to care for.

Living in two homes can actually be a plus for your kids. They will get to be around other adults who have different philosophies and living habits. Even if your co-parent's living situation isn't ideal, you kids will be able to compare both parent's homes and decide on what model or pieces of each lifestyle model works for them when they reach adulthood.

Often, a child with parents who live apart will gain a stepparent or two. Your child's extended family will then be even larger, giving her more chances to develop meaningful relationships with caring adults. Your kids may even get exposure to new ideas or experiences that could ultimately lead to a career or hobby for your child.

Kids who live with only one parent tend to develop independence faster than their peers. Since the parent will probably have a job and other many other duties on their plate, the kids may have to learn to do things for themselves such as preparing a simple meal or participating in household chores. Kids with stay-at-home parents or two parents in the home may not have as many opportunities to take part in the day-to-day responsibilities of running a household. The kids also learn that they need to be ready to take care of themselves, since they, too, could end up on their own or in a single parenting situation someday.

A major benefit for kids with two homes is that they often get two holidays for every holiday. Kids enjoy having two Christmases where they get two sets of gifts, often getting more presents than they would have if the parents were still together.

Two-parent homes can often provide many advantages. However, single parent homes can offer many opportunities for self-growth for children along with other benefits. You can commiserate with your kids about their "different" lifestyle from their peers, but be sure to stress the advantages of their situation, too, along with offering lots of love. Your family can be a successful as a single parent family!