The Six Most Blah Inducing Video Game Titles

1.) Jump Super Stars
-Sounds like a line from a bad Van Damme flick, centering around the 100m hurtles. If the folks at Shonen Jump wanted to sell the game, all they had to do was call it "Naruto, DBZ, One Piece and other Japanese cartoons drank Saki and are beating the living hell out of each other! OMMFG!!!" At least that title gives you a better idea of what the game is about.

2.) Wild Woody
For those who always wanted to play as a walking, talking pencil, this is the game for you! Of course, if you never got a chance see the box art before seeing or hearing the name, you would probably assume this was a cheap porno instead of a video game. To my knowledge, Ron Jeremy had no part in making this video game.

3.) Blinx: The Time Sweeper
Nothing sucks more than people who use an X to make words cooler. Truth is, It makes the title look twice as dumb. Why exactly is Blinx sweeping time anyway? Did he leave a mountain of fur balls on the grassy knoll before Kennedy was shot? And where is his broom anyway? Blinx used a Vacuum in the game. Technically he should be called a Time Sucker(*insert sexually explicit comment here*).

4.) Carmageddon
Sound's like the set up to a Jeff Foxworthy bit. "Carmageddon a new trailer after her brother Leroy finds a wedding ring so he can marry her!" Who knows, maybe this game inspired the redneck king of comedy. If that's so, all the more reason to make fun of it here.

5.) Cadillacs and Dinosaurs
Seems like Capcom(makers of Street Fighter and Mega Man) wanted to appeal to every male demographic. Kids think Dinosaurs are cool. Grown men all want a luxury car. People will flock to a game that promises both in one package! This cheap ploy to get attention, and the fact that it was an arcade exclusive are reason enough to include C & D on this not-so-prestigious list.

6.) Mario Is Missing
I could reserve the sixth spot for games like "Touch Dic" or "Tongue of the Fatman", but Mario Is Missing is more deserving. Somebody at Nintendo must have had a brain fart and figured "Hey, why not make an educational game staring Mario's antidepressant scarfing brother!"

The title illustrates to everyone(including non gamers) that The fat, lovable plumber who helped put Nintendo on the map is not the star this time around. That's seriously messed up. It's like advertising an appearance by Tito Jackson at a concert. Get that mess out of here...

...WE WANT THRILLER, DAMNIT!

Dishonorable mention:
Ninja Baseball Bat Man
Hot Dog Storm
Irritating Stick
Ninjabread Man
Race Destruction Set