The Smart Way to Make a Sex Tape

As sure as you are a woman, you have heard the phrase:

"C'mon, let's make a video"

5 harmless little words, or so he would have you think.

At first, when presented with the proposal, you giggle uncomfortably and say no. He then playfully whines, smiles and asks again. You giggle harder. Repeat scene. This goes on for a couple of minutes before he suddenly drops it. He appears to move on. So do you. In reality, however, he knows he has planted the seed. He waits. Sure enough, over the next couple of days, you find yourself thinking back to his proposal.

A few weeks later, you decide that you are, in fact, the vixen he wants you to be. You agree to make the tape. You pick a day, then fast. Perhaps you have a glass or two of wine before disrobing. Half an hour later, the tape is made. You proudly sit back and watch your masterpiece. God, you're hot.

A couple of months later, you break up. It's been awhile since you watched the tape and to be honest, you hadn't really thought about it. That is until, he tells you he is going to release it. Oops! How could you have forgotten to keep the tape?

Fortunately, you needn't worry. You, unlike most women, thought ahead, and took the necessary precautions:

#1 - Wear a mask

Masks are no longer for Mardi Gras and parties. Before you appear in a sex tape, conceal your identity with a stylish mask.

#2 - Falsify a birthmark

While this might seem a little extreme, when it comes to bearing your nether regions, there is nothing wrong with taking a little caution. Design a noticeable mark on a part of your body that will clearly be seen by the camera. On that same note, you might also invest in a henna tattoo.

#3 - Talk with an accent

Whether you choose to be a southern belle, or an English tart, faking an accent is a great way to maintain anonymity. Avoid voice boxes, they tend to distract.

#4 - Create a pseudonym and have him call you by it

No one will ever believe the seductress on screen is you if she has a different name. Think about it.

#5 - Utilize a wig

Get one of those wigs that drag queens use onstage: huge and tacky. It's likely to conceal your entire face.

While you may think that resorting to the above measures might ruin things like "spontaneity" and "fun", remember that a sex tape can also ruin things like a "career" or future "relationship". Besides, if incorporated smoothly, there is little reason why any of these measures should ruin the fun. In fact, they should add to it.

Or if you really want to eliminate the extra effort, choose your partner wisely.