The Somber Truth About Happiness!

Quote by Anonymous Author: "If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy Teenagers?"

Before I upset anyone with this Quote, let me assure you that I was not trying to single out today's youth. It could have been anyone, but I liked the quote. The fact behind it is that often our Sayings and Quotes try to tell us what Happiness really is. According to one saying: "Ignorance is Bliss"
Sadly, I can not buy into this concept. Often, it is that which we are ignorant about that causes us the most discomfort in our lives. We can not achieve goals that we are certain that is all that stands in between us and contentment. Ironically, as soon as we have achieved this goal, instead of finding deep and lasting happiness in our success we only find a short period of joy before we again reach for the stars. Let us then examine the different Ideas that are supposed to bring us lasting joy and happiness.

Are possessions the path to happiness?
Certainly having things we like gives us a feeling of pride, but is it happiness? How often have you bought that new Gadget, Article of Clothing, Book or Trip only to soon loose interest in that which brought you immense pleasure? The reality is, once the newness wears off, the feeling of elation wanes. Possessions are more the path to pride (and there is nothing wrong with it) and making our lives more comfortable then to happiness.

Are Achievements the path to happiness?
Just as in the case with objects, achievements have a way of never being enough. Of course you are elated at first, happy and proud you tell everyone that is willing to hear about it. However, soon enough is wears thin and suddenly you look at the larger, greater achievement of someone else. Human Beings are naturally competitive and so you return to the Rate Race and once again pit yourself against your fellow worker. Is that a bad thing? Only if nothing else exists in your World, but as long as it is healthy and you know when to stop it is the driving force for you to make your Goals and Dreams a reality.

What about other People? Are Friends and Family the path to happiness?
Loved ones can be a source of joy and happiness, but if you rely on them to make you happy all the time you will be sorely disappointed. The truth is that nobody can make you happy all the time. They are human and most of the time we make each other equally happy and miserable. It is a give and take.

What is happiness?
The reality is that the entity happiness is a many faced thing. It is an emotion and at the same time a decision. Yes, you have heard me correctly, in order to be happy you have to decide to allow yourself to be happy and want to be happy. I can almost see some of you looking at this and shaking their heads in disbelieve. Surely I must have made a major Typographical Error here. Who wouldn't want to be happy? After all that is what we are all looking for. Not so, I have met a lot of People in my life that are downright uncomfortable with being happy. They don't like it, they don't trust it, and they honestly don't believe they deserve to be happy. For them it is their lives goal to fail miserably and remain the victim. Poor me, they say, I can never be happy. In a perverse way however, that is exactly what makes them happy. By being miserable, they are comfortable in what they are used to and with that are happy.

Quote by Edith Wharton: "If only we'd stop trying to be happy, we'd have a pretty good time." Wise Words indeed. When the search for happiness becomes a fulltime chore we forget to have fun. Believe it or not, if you actually sit down and write down the times you were the happiest, you will find that it was little things that made you happy. Happiness comes from inside of you. It comes from accepting your-self for whom and what you are. It is giving yourself permission to be happy in a self diluting world. The media keeps trying to tell us daily that the world is a horrible place and that we are all terrible people. We are taught that we have hurt others around us by being successful and content. How dare we be happy while so many out there are in pain and sick? Now I ask you this and please take just a moment of your time to think it over. Can you really change the World by being unhappy? Do you really believe that you are doing harm to others by allowing yourself to be happy? Is your happiness taking anything away from others or are you actually giving a small bit of happiness to someone else by being a brighter more pleasant person to be around?

Quote by Abraham Lincoln: "Most Folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." Wow, not only was he a great President but he was wiser then most of todays public Figures. He was exactly right. You have to make your mind up to be happy. You can constantly reach for things that you don't have or you can find joy in what you already possess. There will be things that you will never be able to have or achieve, but does that mean you have to ignore the things you already are able to do? Why dwell on the negative instead of the positive. For example: I will never be a size 4, but at a size 13 I am perfectly fitted to give comfort to my family and I am downright cute and cuddly. I am healthy most of the time and I can do things some of the really tiny females of my species can never achieve. I also don't feel the need to constantly diet to keep my figure impossibly small. I have my happy size. Sure, I would like to be a bit smaller, but if I can not reach it so be it. I am still sexy and active.

Ralph Ricketts stated: "As the Sergeant said to the recruit: "You might as well be happy, mate - no one cares if you ain't." Again a word to those wise enough to heed it. Nobody really cares if you are happy or sad, besides those affected by it. I assure you however that by making the choice to be happy, you quality of life will automatically improve. People and with that opportunity seem to gravitate to happy and confident People. Yes, happiness and confidence go hand in hand. I personally try to avoid constantly unhappy people. They can bring you down quicker then the flu.

Staying happy.

First you must realize that nobody can be happy all the time. If they were they soon would no longer be able to appreciate happiness. You can also trick your mind into being happy. Sometimes, it is just an attitude. Give yourself permission to be sad when you have cause, go through the grieving period, but don't linger. There is a time for everything. Happiness is just one of those seasons.

I find look daily for little things that make me happy. Hugging my daughter, cuddling with my husband, the taste of an ice cream cone, a good book, looking at a nice sunset, the softness of my skin, the scent of my shampoo, massaging my husbands back and feeling him relax, making my daughter laugh. Sometimes it is just things that are inside of me, dancing to candlelight, knowing I have learned something new, pride in publishing a well written article. Having been able to give a bit of knowledge to someone else or having made somebody around me happy. Once you have decided to focus on being happy instead of upset and angry all the time, once you have made it a mental decision to look for the positive in life you will find that being happy and staying that way is not all that difficult.

A ten point interactive questionnaire to make you think.
What makes you happy? Happiness a reality or a myth? Happiness a feeling or a choice? These questions and more are touched up on by the Article "Happiness: Simple Emotion or Choice?" Take a look at it and meditate on the points for yourself. What do you have to loose besides your negative outlook and questions?

Get to know your emotions, but don't let them control you.

Have you ever noticed how we often completely mislabel the emotions we have? How often do we allow emotions, which are fleeting, to control our lives? Do we have the right to make others around us miserable just because we are sad? I want you to take a little self test some time. Take a notebook or journal and for one week write down all the emotions you had and what caused them. Write down what you did about them and how you experienced each situation. I guarantee you; you will be astonished at the end of the week when you reread what you wrote about your-self.

A final thought

Happiness is essential to your emotional wellbeing, but so are anger, sadness and sorrow. If you suppress any emotion, you will become ill in the long run. Better to permit yourself to experience all life has to offer in a healthy or controlled manner then to suddenly turn into the Monster you never wanted to be. We all are special and each of us deserves to be happy. Remember that next time you are tempted to beat yourself up for smiling and being happy while others around you are miserable.