The Stallionaires Are Back: "Real Chance of Love 2" Season Premiere

Aww Sookie Sookie now! Cow tipping, four-wheel riding, and love-obsessed Real and Chance from the Stallionaires have hopped back onto the reality stratosphere! With them comes the second season of the critically-unacclaimed reality show, "Real Chance of Love."

Once again, they must choose from 20 wild Ladies: some sexy, some freaky, some big, some ugly, and some creepy as all hell. Thankfully, this season of "Real Chance of Love" at least hosts an ethnically diverse batch of Ladies: Black, White, Latino, Hawaiian, and even Asian.

But with any group of Ladies-especially one as diverse as this-there will inevitably be strife. This season is no different. Get ready for some hair-pulling, fist-slamming, and ass-whipping debauchery. In fact, two Ladies were automatically eliminated during the very first episode due to violence. From now on, Real and Chance are punishing both the shit-talking instigator and the violent perpetrator. Hey... fair is fair!

Also unique about this season of "Real Chance of Love" is that there will be no Real girls or Chance girls-just Stallionaire girls. The goal is to maintain an open environment; whereby the chemistry can develop on its own accord. The Ladies are free to go back and forth from Chance and Real, although I suggest they pick a guy and stick to him-at least if they really want to win!

Before I depart, here's a brief introduction to all the Ladies:

The Name Ceremony

Baker - A sexy black chick that loves vanity and baking cakes. She can bake me a cake anytime, so long as I can provide the frosting (wink wink).

Pocahontas - A gorgeous brown-skinned Mami who earned immediate praise from Real: "Oooh...looking so good! I've been waiting for that my whole life!" Yep. I've been DREAMING about that my whole life!

Vegas - A nicely figured white girl from Las Vegas touting that she's "thick and juicy." Don't get me wrong...she's incredibly sexy; but she's definitely not thick.

P.S. - Tall and lanky white beauty with no booty, but a penchant for sex!

Ribbon - A weird and curly-haired black Lady with an annoying laugh and certified stalking tendencies.

Apple - A naughty-looking Asian with glasses. Mmm... can I see your ancient Chinese secret, baby?

Flirty - She's got flirty eyes.

Classy - She's a real classy Lady.

Doll - A purportedly "Half-African" pale-skinned Caucasian.

Mamacita - A Hispanic woman originally from "Mayheeco."

Blonde Baller - A hardcore Caucasian piece of dynamite that likes to run with guys from Compton and Long Beach! She's a ryde or die chick!

Aloha - An erection-inspiring stripper from Hawaii!

Show Me - An orange-skinned white woman who looked like a "Tangerine."

Spanish Fly - Her real name is Shirley, which Chance considers "a whack name for that image."

Wiggly - A certified butterface with a banging body, but the face of a near-death elderly woman in a wheelchair.

Junk - She's got junk in the trunk!

Lady - She is a Lady.

Sassy - She's just sassy.

Hot Wings - Our very own Hooter's girl! According to her, "We're known for our breasts. Get it hot and naked with a little ranch on the side." I'm suddenly really hungry for some thighs and breasts!

Freckles - Originally named "Chewy" due to her Saskatchewanian height, but renamed "Since you're cute."

"Does she love me?" Probably not; but all is fair in love and war!