The State of the World Today: Where Did We Go Wrong?

Sometimes, it is very easy for me to see how people can become impatient with the world around them. A look at the state of our society can be depressing, and its no wonder that some folks just snap on a Monday afternoon and shoot up a college campus. I am beginning to think that the United States would be better off run by monkeys. The leaders of this nation are taking big strides in the wrong direction.

There are a lot of things going on in the world that make me wonder how some people survive the perils of everyday life, like "crossing a street", "dressing themselves", or "eating a sandwich." And so, I give you the most messed up, stupid stories in the news lately...

Our first article concerns the expansion of the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament. Now before you jump down my throat and tell me that sports aren't important in the big swing of things and all that poppycock, let me explain something to you. These coaches that are lobbying to expand the tournament field from 65 teams to 128 teams are setting a bad example that extends beyond sport and into everyday life. Jim Haney and his compatriots are trying to make the NCAA support mediocrity. By expanding the field, the national tournament will represent undeserving teams in the BFE conferences of Division 1 basketball. These people want to promote teams (on an enormous stage, mind you) that aren't good enough to be there.

Allowing the field of teams to double would cause more blowouts and worse entertainment value, which equals less advertising dollars for CBS and ESPN. (Imagine a first round match-up of Duke versus Idaho State Polytechnic. Or Idaho State Tech, whichever team is worse)

Not only would all these terrible teams cause the NCAA tournament to be unwatchable, imagine what it would do to the NIT! The NIT tournament would then represent the 129th through 161st best teams in college basketball. Imagine how entertaining that would be! Players dribbling off of their feet, players diving at nothing in particular, air ball after air ball after air ball...

It would kind of be like the WNBA, except with some dunking. Oh, and with fewer "nappy headed-hos." (Holy Don Imus Batman!)

If you were a coach for a struggling NCAA basketball team, and you could never get your team into the tournament, wouldn't you want to expand it to 128 teams and keep your job? Of course you would! If the NCAA lets this happen, they are glorifying mediocre play and mediocre coaches who can't take the heat of competition for their jobs. Jim Haney should get his head out of his ass and realize that he is obliterating up one of the last pure things America has to offer- college basketball.

Another recent news blurb is about one of the stupidest criminals I have ever heard of. I think the story says it best...

"Officials in Reading say a man was electrocuted Tuesday, apparently while trying to steal what he probably thought was copper wire from atop a 50-foot utility pole."

This makes me laugh out loud for several reasons.

One, why in the hell would you want to steal copper wire, which, the last time I checked, ran at something like 3 dollars a spool?

Two, how in God's name did he get to the top of a 50 FOOT POLE?

Three, under what circumstance could the man actually see the copper wire on top of the pole? Did he use binoculars beforehand? Did he research the construction of electrical wire? Was this a premeditated crime?

And four, the man's body was found with a pair of metal wire cutters laying next to him. Did he know nothing about electricity? Did he think he could just cut wires in public and then descend the pole safely?

I think Darwin was on to something with that whole "natural selection" thing. If the strongest and smartest of a species are meant to survive, I am not at all surprised nor upset that this moron won't be repopulating. The world has enough retards as it is.

This last piece of news makes me wonder if mankind is even functionally retarded. This old man dug a 60 foot hole in his front yard after his Walmart "gold detector" had a positive hit.

First of all, this guy is 63 years old. What business does a senior citizen have digging for gold? I know that if I dug any sized hole in my grandpa's front yard, he'd be pretty pissed, let alone a hole deep enough to hold a 4 story building.

Secondly, any gold detector that this guy can afford with his social security check is not accurate enough to detect gold at a depth of 60 feet. He claims that "he only planned to go down three or four feet but got carried away." Do you think?!?! Is 60 feet carried away? That's like saying Hitler only intended on killing 5 or 6 Jews, but he just got "carried away."

This dude even went through the trouble of setting up a pulley system and hiring a crew to lower themselves down into the hole to dig deeper. Who knows how deep the guy could've gone if no one had said anything. If I was one of the policemen that responded to the scene, I just would've just thrown the guy into the hole and filled it. The world is better off without him.

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."- Albert Einstein