The Super Bowl Half Time Show Solution

Okay, can we all just agree the Super Bowl half time show needs a serious intervention? Ever since the Super Bowl powers-that-be stopped inviting marching bands to do the honors, the Super Bowl half time show has gone ever faster downhill. The half time show went from bad, to weird, to raunchy; and then there was this year's pathetic pandering to Baby Boomers by pulling The Who out of mothballs. Even back in the day, the Who would have been better off if they had, as my husband put it, "shut up and played." Pairing them with what was an admittedly cool laser show was not enough to make them cutting edge.

Meanwhile, the Super Bowl half time shows keep getting more and more expensive - millions of dollars worth of expensive. Ameriquest upped the ante by $5 mil over America Online's "paltry" $10 million for last year's show! But, in these hard economic times, I would like to do my part to lower expenses for corporations, particularly those that might need us taxpayers later. I can't sing either, so I thought real hard, and then it came to me. The perfect, million dollar solution.

Next year during the Super Bowl, just play all the commercials during half time. Yep, it really is that simple.

For all the people that love the game and not the ads, the game will no longer be interrupted every 5 1/2 seconds by a dumb Doritoes commercial. When there is a lull in the game (as a non-football type person, I have observed that there are many lulls, all of which land the viewer in Commercial Land), the commentators can yack their little heads off about what the Quarterback likes to eat before a game, or whether the coach is really nervous or not, and all the other riveting bits of trivia they are so fond of. When the lull is over, the announcers can return to talking about the game actually being played right there before them.

The football lovers can enjoy a nice, long, half-time stretch, make more guacamole dip, stuff like that. Furthermore, they will no longer have to yell to the non-football lovers every time a new commercial comes on.

For all the people that only watch to see the ads, they can tend to the food, call their mothers and not risk missing sweet Mrs. Tebow just because hubby forgot to let them know a commercial was on. When half time comes, the Super Bowl Ads people can settle down and relax, enjoy the Super Bowl commercials, compare the ads to one another, and not be forced to stampede in and out of the room so they won't miss anything.

So there you have it. Corporations can spend all our hard earned money on Super Bowl commercials that will cause us to spend more money on their stuff. Aging bands can rock out in their rocking chairs and enjoy the game. Football aficionados can watch football, uninterrupted, and free from the duty of notifying their wives that a commercial is on. Super Bowl Commercial aficionados can enjoy talking babies, analyze how much controversy is really contained in any given ad, and decide whether they are willing to ever eat Doritoes again, without having to sit through interminable "downs."

Playing all the Super Bowl commercials at half time will ensure domestic tranquility, restore economic stability and preserve musical purity all in one fell swoop. You are welcome. If everyone who is grateful for this solution mails me just one dollar, I will have made my millions on the Super Bowl Half Time Show. Without having to screech a single note.

Resources:

Personal experience
http://money.cnn.com/2004/10/07/news/midcaps/ameriquest_superbowl/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Super_Bowl_halftime_shows