The Supermarket Hell

We all love supermarkets! They're great. No matter what you're looking for, you can find it there. All under one roof. Food, clothes, alcohol, just name it, no need to go anywhere else. But there's a dark side to them. A side that we try to forget, that we're not willing to admit exists. A side so evil, there just has to be a higher force behind it. What else could explain the way it makes people behave the way they do once they get their hands on that shopping trolley.....

Saturday afternoon, the sun is shining, the birds are singing. All is peace, the whole world is smiling and then, all of a sudden, out of the blue, reality kicks in. It's time to go grocery shopping!!! As bad as this might be on a regular day, it's a total disaster on a week-end. Some of the worst creatures are allowed out and they all meet at the same spot. Unfortunately, that's exactly the spot you need to be at as well.

The shopping part itself works out okay, most of the time. There's the occasional hassle, where you'll have to fight for an article on sale with a desperate housemother, or a head-on collision with the bling-bling guy who thinks he's participating in a Nascar race, but you'll be fine. Until it's time to pay, that is.

Slowly, they're all checking out the lanes. Like wolves spying on their prey. There's the lane with the 2 single guys, who probably only have beer in the carts, or the large family, who might keep up the queue. Whichever lane you choose, you're in the wrong one. Murphy's law nowhere shows it's true strength more than here. The other line will move faster, just like it will when you're driving on the highway.

The worst is yet to come, though. There will be a kid behind you who consistently bumps the cart into your heels, over and over again. Do you think mommy dearest will set him straight? Hell no. She finds it cute! CUTE !!! The carts are designed to hit you where it hurts most. They're approved by chiropractors and doctors. They're carts from hell!

I mentioned Murphy once, here he is again. Once it's almost your turn to pay, at least 3 cashiers will return to their registers and make all the lines suddenly disappear. So there you are, finally, with only the old woman in front of you, and luckily she's only got 3 items. That's where the last catch hits you. Instead of bills, she goes through a purse with all the coins she saved over a year, while telling the cashier how much she reminds her of her grand daughter. Who, as you soon will find out, has a horrible taste in men and would be better of going to college.

By the time you've paid, it started raining, you've missed most of the game, and the world looks as grim as ever. Next time, go to the night store. There's not that many people shopping at 4 in the morning.