The Techie and the Teenager

I'm a single mother of a single teenager. I do marketing and consulting for Realtors to pay the bills, and one of the job requirements is to be more tech-savvy than the average end user. I pride myself on the fact that I get paid to solve people's technology issues, whether it be finding a more efficient way to manage their database or creating an online presence. Thank God this is both a passion and a requirement for me, or I would not even speak the same language as my daughter.

The new (pierced) tongue of the teenage species is Text. They don't believe in picking up the phone and actually having a conversation anymore. Instead, they send abbreviated messages, thumbs moving at lightning-speed, cell phones never leaving their side even when they are in the shower.

At first, as a mother and a child of the 80's, I resisted. And then I realized it was futile. We didn't have cell phones when I was growing up. If we wanted to talk to someone, we (gasp) had to use a telephone that was either attached to the wall or required quarters. We didn't have the luxury of calling the parent that was picking us up from the mall to see if we could stay later. On the flip side, there was a lot more privacy. We didn't announce to the world wide web via MySpace that we were picking our nose. Our put-downs and bitch sessions weren't posted on a blog, they were transferred the old fashioned way -through the rumor mill. It was difficult to find us, which was both a blessing and a curse.

My daughter was the last thirteen-year-old on the planet (or at least in the Western world) to get a cell phone. Her argument was that everyone had one. My response was, "Great, then you can use your friend's." Upon receiving her new technology, mayhem both began and ended. I don't have to worry if I'm running late to pick her up from school. I just text her with my thumbs flying at lightning speed. If I need to know if her jeans need washing, I text her during school. If I see a funny bumper sticker while driving on the freeway, I text her. And she does the same.

We've learned every abbreviation out there: brb, lol, lmao, idk, ily, l8r, etc., and we've even made up a few of our own, such as bamf. You figure it out. I'm a friend on most of her friends' MySpaces, including hers, which allows me to see what they're doing. I'm not a parent who cares about seeing the "f" word. I want to know if anyone's in jail. This is my way of keeping tabs through the new voyeur system of the Internet, where everything is public and there is far too much information.

Of course, sometimes we take it to extremes. One night, I was at a friend's house watching a movie, and my daughter started texting me. She said that Titanic 2 was coming out, meaning a movie by the same director and many of the same actors. So we start a conversation, back and forth. It went something like this.

Her: Titanic 2: What would've happened had the captain's IQ been 4 points higher

Me: Titanic 2: 28 Days Later

Her: Titanic 2: Ladies in the Water

Me: Titanic 2: Blue Blood Diamond

Her: Titanic 2: Ice Age

And so on for many more messages. My friend walked in, and I was laughing maniacally. I read him the texts, but apparently, something was lost in translation. I continued the exchange well into the movie, proving that technology has forced us to be both more available and less available at the same time.

Another example of the silliness that occurs between the teenager and me is when we send messages to one another not only from one end of the house to the other, but when we are in the same room. My favorite was an exchange of pictures. She positioned her hand into the one-finger salute and texted it to me, and I promptly shot the bird right back at her via picture text, lmao.

In short, my fellow parents, technology can either be your worst nightmare if you don't keep up with what your kids are typing, or your best friend if you do. The difference is fear. If you are afraid that your child will be swept away by a pedophile on her way home from school because she somehow attracted the big bad wolf on MySpace or some other networking site, get on her networking site. Do not fear the technology, because this generation embraces it. Get a MySpace account. Know your kids' friends, both virtually and literally. Email them. Text them. Be present when they're away from you using the tools we have. Then be present with them when you're near by using the old fashioned ones: listening, open communication, and turning off the tech toys when you're spending quality time with them.