The Teen Years Can Be a Source of Frustration and Joy for Many Parents

Anyone who has ever had children can remember the "terrible twos" and all the emphasis put on parenting two year olds. Personally, I think the "terrible twos" were a breeze compared to what I call the "terrible/terrific teens". How do I know this? Because, my husband and I have experienced the joys and frustrations of raising three teenagers.

Teenagers... Their hormones are raging, their moods are swinging wildly and their personalities can change from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde in an instant. In addition to their mood swings, teenagers can be the most self-centered creatures on earth.

They suffer from "rolling eye disease" and also seem to be hard of hearing when the need arises. Here's an example of this hearing problem. Mom comes home from shopping and needs help unloading the groceries, sees all three teens watching TV so she says, "I could use some help unloading the van." Three teens stare blankly at the TV as if she's not even there. When Mom brings second load from the van, she says, "If you want to eat, help unload the groceries!" Suddenly, hearing is restored and three teens rush out to help. (Did I mention that teenagers can eat you out of house and home?)

There are debates over curfew - to have or not to have. No matter what time you decide their curfew will be, they always find someone who can stay out later than they can. You'll often hear them say, "Everybody else can stay out later, why can't I?"

Conversations with your teen can be a real challenge. You either get one word answers or the standard "I don't know." Example: Mom asks, "Where are you going?" Teen answers, "Out." Mom asks, "What will you be doing?" Teen answers, "I don't know." Sometimes they really don't know what they'll be doing, but I always worry that they do know and they just don't want to tell me. (I remember answering my mom the same way when I was a teenager. Could it be I'm being punished now for how I acted back then?)

Occasionally, you will be able to have a long conversation with your teen. They usually want to tell you everything, just about the time you're trying to concentrate on balancing the checkbook or figuring out your income taxes. My advice - stop and listen to what they have to say. These moments are few and far between, so take them whenever you can get them!

Does it bother you to see a room with clothes thrown on the floor, bed, desk, and chair? If so, learn to close the door of your teen's room. Cleaning is not a high priority for them. They just don't have the time between school, sports, jobs, activities, and of course their social life.

Teens are constantly on the go and before they can drive, you feel like a chauffeur. Once they can drive, you're relieved of chauffeuring duties if you are willing to lend them the family car, which can be a very scary alternative. Even scarier is when they get their own car. Sirens take on a whole new sound when your teen is out and about in his or her own car. You set down rules and hope that they'll follow them and each day you notice you have another gray hair on your head!

What can produce more gray hairs for a parent than teen driving? Two words - teen dating. Personally, I'd like to lock my teens up until they're 21 and skip the whole teen dating scene altogether!

Have I said enough about the "terrible teens"? They can drive you crazy and sometimes you want to scream or even run away, but don't do that because there are those other days, those terrific days.

Three weeks ago, I watched my daughter receive an academic award for the third straight year. She's making college plans and I can't believe she's almost all grown up. Last night, my husband and I attended our daughter's orchestra concert. She played a solo on her violin. It sounded so beautiful and made us so proud. I cheered wildly as I watched my two sons run in a cross-country race recently and shared in their excitement when they both broke their personal records. I enjoy watching one of my sons when he sits by my husband's side at our computer. He is learning so much and catches on so quickly which never ceases to amaze me. My other son loves making videos for school projects. The time consuming effort he puts into his videos is incredible.

Am I proud of my terrific teens? Yes, I am - more than they'll ever know. I could go on and on about the terrific things my teens have done, but I'd rather have you stop and think about the terrific things your teens or anybody's teens are doing.

Teenagers... Do I long for a peaceful, quiet house? Sometimes. Will we survive the "terrible/terrific teens"? I think so. Will I miss them when they're grown up and out of the house? Yes I will - more than they'll ever know.