The Ten Commandments of Internet Discussion Boards

2. Everything you say and do leads to the exact resolution you intended from the start, no matter how off topic you are or what the end result ends up being.

3. Arguments are only truly over when everyone gets bored and lets a board die. Boards are only truly over when arguments die and everyone gets bored.

4. Contradictions mean nothing, unless other people make them.

5. After an argument is settled, take criticism graciously but be sure to make it clear that you won. Said reiteration of dominance will almost surely result in another flare up of argument, which you will inevitably win again.

6. Anyone who has not covered every aspect of every possible angle in less than 50 words is an idiot, and their opinion should not be considered. Anyone who writes more than 50 words to get their point across is also an idiot, and their opinion should not be considered.

7. Diatribes should be considered trolling. Clever diatribes should be applauded (if said diatribe agrees with your own diatribe). Those that don't agree with your own; trolling, definitely.

8. People who use big words keep a thesaurus next to them to sound intelligent: idiots. People who use small words are just idiots. As a last (or sometimes a first) resort in an argument, grammar and punctuation may be used to prove that the opponent is an idiot.

9. People who don't shut the *beep* up are idiots. So are people who think they are funny or clever. Unless it's me.

Oh yeah, and the most important: Commandment #10. No one is above the rules except for me.