The Ten Most Life-Changing Books

Every once in while, you will read a book that changes your life. Here are some that have changed mine.

1. A Course in Miracles - When I started reading this book, it was like reading a foreign language. I didn't understand most of what the authors were saying. It is even hard to figure who the author or authors are. Their names are not displayed on the jacket of the book and there is no "About the Author" section at the end of the book. In the preface of the book, it "explains" that the book was believed to be written through the authors and not by the authors. The book is somewhat esoteric that way. It comes to people who are seeking something. It does not advertise itself but waits to be found by its seeker. The book is as thick as a bible and even reads somewhat like the bible. It is a mind trip to read at first because of the "new age" type of language it uses. I may have been only a third of the way through when I started to get the language of it down. A friend of mine has attempted to read the book three times but gave up all three times. This book was life changing for me because it gave me a sense of peace every time I read some of it. I would read it before bedtime so I could go to sleep with that sense of peace. What did I learn from the book? I don't even know how to begin to answer that question. I learned so much from this book. I learned about the difference between "ego" or "false self" and "true self". I learned that guilt, judgment and separation are functions of the ego. I also learned a lot about the meaning of the word "atonement". This book also uses the term "holy spirit" a lot which was easy for me to understand as a Christian. At its basis, this book does a good job of repeatedly driving home the message of love over fear. Which path will you choose?

2. The Dark Side of the Light Chasers - Debbie Ford. This book is amazing. It does a great job of simplifying the idea that Carl Jung coined "shadow psychology". It has great exercises at the end of every chapter to help you focus on accepting your dark sides so you can experience being a whole person rather than projecting your unclaimed sides onto others and standing rigidly in a false sense of perfectionism or self-righteousness.

3. The Four Agreements - don Miguel Ruiz. I refer this book to many of my patients, especially when they are talking things personally too often. Besides the agreement of being impeccable with your word, I love the agreement of not taking things personally. This book does a good job of explaining why you shouldn't take things personally - how what someone does or says, even if it's about you, actually says more about them than about you. This book does a good job of holding you accountable for your actions and words as well. Wouldn't it be a much better world to live in if there were less blame and more accountability present in our interactions.

4. Zero Limits - Joe Vitale. Joe Vitale is also the author of The Attractor Factor which is also a life-changing book. Zero Limits, however, goes a step further than the law of attraction which can be used to enhance ego desires. This book focuses more on our spiritual responsibility to each other. It makes you feel more empowered to do something about some of the ailments and problems that affect this world. Joe writes this book with the help of Dr. Hew Len who practices the ancient Hawaiian healing method of Ho'oponopono. One of the tools that Dr. Len practices again and again is the meditation of "forgive me, I'm sorry, I love you, thank you". I happen to use "I'm sorry" and "thank you" the most. This book helps bolster a sense of gratitude and a sense of spiritual responsibility for others no matter how many degrees of separation they happen to be from you.

5. Anatomy of the Spirit - Carolyn Myss. This author also wrote "Sacred Contracts" which is another phenomenal book. What I love about this book is the breakdown of archetypes all of us tend to have such as "inner child", "inner parent", "inner saboteur" and "inner prostitute". This book does a good job of helping us find our real selves among the voices of these inner archetypes.

6. Only Love is Real - Brian Weiss. I would recommend any book from this author. He is actually my favorite author. I also loved "Messages from the Masters". Warning: this book does speak to the possibility of reincarnation which is not a widely-accepted belief in this world. What I love about this book is the idea of healing occurring over the span of lifetimes. I also think this book makes sense of those intuitive feelings we have when we meet someone for the first time yet it seems we have known them all our lives. I think this book also does a good job of helping us to focus on the love that is present in our lives so that we may transform the perceived misfortunes and missed opportunities into learning experiences or a sense of trust that losses and hurts may be the universe's way of guiding us to our destinies.

7. The Seat of the Soul - Gary Zukav. I also love Gary's book: "Soul to Soul". I first read The Seat of the Soul in grad school after seeing Gary on Oprah. I then read the book again about 10 years later and couldn't believe that I had read it before. I don't think I was ready or mature enough to receive the essence of the book when I was in my 20's. What I love about this book is the idea that we are here to learn. Now some people would say that there is no need to learn anything on this "earth school" because we already know everything - we just need to remember. However you want to phrase it, this book really helped me looked at the most irritating or depressing situations in life as learning opportunities. It also helped me look at other people as teachers coming into and out of my life whether friend or foe or lover.

8. Life Strategies - Dr. Phil McGraw. I recommend this book a lot to my clients. I especially like the chapter on "forgiveness" and the chapter entitled "you teach people how to treat you". I love how Dr. Phil brings everything down to a simple behavioral formula that anyone can follow using the basic human motivations we all have to be our very best.

9. The Heart of Compassion - Dalai Llama. The main idea that I came away with from this book is the need to let go of attachments. I also learned how and why I should be compassionate of all people in any situation even rich people or those who are the perceived enemy.

10. The Dance of Intimacy - Harriet Lerner. I only just recently started reading this book and it was so interesting to me that I finished it in a day or two which is fast for me. Even though I have a degree in psychology and work as a counselor, I felt like much of the information in this book was new information although the book was written in the 1980's. The book focuses on healing any family of origin issues that will certainly stand in the way of any other relationships in your life.