The Ten Worst Songs of All Time
10. Why Don't We Do It In The Road? by the Beatles. Actually, it was recorded by just Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney in 1968. The other band members were too embarrassed to join the recording session. John Lennon quipped that the song was the best that Paul McCartney ever wrote.
Here are the lugubrious lyrics:
Why don't we do it in the road? No one will be watching us...Why don't we do it in the road?
Here is the malevolent music:
♫ ♫ ♫ ♫
Hear that? Isn't that the most raucous rhythm and blues you ever heard? And how about the sorry singing by Paul McCartney? He sounds like a garbage disposal suffering from roid rage.
Imagine, if you will, a couple celebrating their silver wedding anniversary, and one says to the other, "Oh listen honey, they're playing our song." If you can imagine that, then you are pretty sick in the head!
9. Star Trek Theme by Alexander Courage. The lyrics were written by Gene Roddenberry. What lyrics? The song is just a syrupy soprano singing Ah...ah...ah, ah, ah, ah, ah....., ad nausea. Nevertheless, Roddenberry gets half the royalties from the Star Crap...er...Star Trek theme song.
8. Squeeze Box by Roger Daltrey and the Who. Who (pardon the pun) are the fans of this song? Some mental patients with pre-frontal lobotomies, that's who. This is one of those stupid bubblegum rock songs you can't get out of your head so I can fully understand why some would need a lobotomy to get rid of it.
♫ Mama's got a squeeze box she wears on her chest...When daddy gets home she don't get no rest...cause she's playin' all night...and the music's all right...Mama's got a squeezebox; daddy never sleeps at night...♫
Mama's got a squeezebox on her chest...hmmm...is that some kind of metaphor, do ya think?
7. Bad by Michael Jackson. This song starts out with ♫Your butt is mine...♫ Need I continue? If I do, then you are one sick pup! Let's fast forward...
6. Can You Feel the Love Tonight? sung by William Hung. He's that American Idol reject who can't sing to save his life, so someone made him a star anyway. The joke's on you America! Hahahahahahahaha!
5. Babalu! performed by Desi Arnez on the I Love Lucy show. The song consists of bongo drums, a limping Latin orchestra, and the bellowing voice of Desi Arnez trading "babalus" with his off-key wife Lucy and his squeaky-voiced son Desi Arnez, Jr. I hear they forced prisoners at Guantanamo to listen. The poor bastards!
4. Anything by Lawrence Welk, especially the song sung by the Lemon...er...Lennon Sisters: ♫The toe bone is connected to the foot bone, the foot bone is connected to the leg bone...♫ I think Lawrence Welk's head bone is connected to his tail bone. Will someone please throw that polka-playing accordion into the river?!
3. The Mickey Mouse Club Song by the Mouseketeers. Here's another tune they force on the ears of the prisoners at Guantanamo: ♫M-I-C....(See you real soon)...K-E-Y...(Why? Because we like you)...M-O-U-S-E...♫
2. Fly Robin Fly by the Silver Convention. This is an insipid disco number with a fatigued female chorus backed up by an elevator-music orchestra. Here are the lugubrious lyrics in their entirety:
Fly robin fly...Fly robin fly....Fly robin fly...up up to the sky...
I think these lyrics were ripped-off from a first grade reading primer. They could have just as easily been: Run spot run....Run spot run...Run spot run...I'm going for my gun!
1. And now....the moment you've been waiting for....the worst song of all times...drum roll please.... The worst song of all times is...Basketball Jones by Cheech & Chong. (Audience makes haste to the exits.)
Hey wait! Where's everyone going? Come back! Oh well. For those few intrepid fools that have remained, I will force myself to describe this piece...this piece of...(cough!)...music.
I am not sure which of the two pot heads sang this song. I don't really care. The lead vocal is a male falsetto voice singing a slow nail-scraping-the-blackboard ballad like this:
♫Bassaball Jones...I gotta bassaball Jones...I gotta bassaball Jones...ooooh...♫
What the hell is a basketball Jones anyway?
Well, you made it to the end. Care for an aspirin? How about a barf bag?
Published by GMJ
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22 Comments
Post a CommentYou are absolutely "spot on" about the #1 worst song of all time being "Basketball Jones." It is utterly and completely a hideous song, bar none!!!
ATL(All Time Loser?), I can't help but notice you "FAILED" to provide a single example of a song that should have been on the list.
Are you kidding me? Of all the tuneless song of the world you list a Beatles song? Have listened to half the new music on the radio...at least people in these song play instruments. While this includes some songs that I would definitely switch should they pop up on shuffle, the majority do not near the worst music out there.
I'm gonna have to give this a big fat FAIL
The Bette Midler song called "Wind Beneath My Wings" is just plain awful. Especially near the end when she's yelling FLY....FLY.... dreadful.
Yep, I think Cheech and Chong may have been sober when they wrote BB Jones.
I like Cheech and Chong but I do have to agree that Basketball Jones is a lousy song. But "Earache my eye" by them is a rocking tune.
Thanks for reading. I know it took a lot out of you.
fun read. thanks for sharing.
"Bad" ain't so bad, but perhaps its the kick-ass dance moves in the video that make it so. That first line is a bit creepy, I must agree.
Well, yah, I am a tad bit mental, but I have not had the pre-frontal lobotomy and do not plan on one anytime soon. I also disagree with Bad and I never heard that line. "Honey" still brings a tear to my eye and two of my kids and myself all picked "Seasons in the Sun" to be our eulogy song. We definitely do not listen to the same kinds of music. I would include Black Eyed Peas "My Humps" as being one of the worst.