The Three Main Types of Moms

There are three types of moms: the best friend, the commander and the after school special. Each of these moms possesses positive equalities and attitudes, but also come with drawbacks. Most often the drawbacks are as much for the mom as they are for the children. Too often, moms try too hard to be what they perceive their children or families want them to be instead of what their family needs them to be.

The Best Friend

The best friend is Lorelei Gilmore. She wants to do everything with her kids. She's their best friend, their buddy and just as likely to get them into trouble rather than set the guidelines for avoiding it. She's a lot of fun to have around, but she can be difficult too. The best friend forgets to be a mom, a teacher and a guide post. If she's feeling tired or grumpy one day, she can say harsh things the way best friends do, but kids don't have the same respect for their best friends they need to have for their moms and this can make listening and working out problems hard.

The Commander

The commander expects discipline, period. She gives an order and she gives it once. She expects her kids to tow the line. It doesn't matter if her expectations are unreasonable or she's being unfair, this is how it has to be done. Commanders always think they are right and they brook no deviations from their own plans. They are remote and unapproachable. They also find it difficult to understand when their children prefer the company of others to them. They may raise the perfectly behaved child, but they also raise one that understands the exact wording of an order. Commanders and their kids don't tend to be close.

The After School Special

This is the mom we all want to be. We call her 'that' mom. She bakes cookies and cup cakes for school parties. She shows up to every school function. She takes her kids to every extracurricular they want to sign up for. They do school projects, they work on crafts and they are devoted parents. Too often the after school special mom sublimates all her own needs to meet the needs of her child. This looks great on the surface, but it's also a fairly lonely existence especially if the other parent isn't as supportive of all the activities. This existence can also lead moms to feeling resentful and taken for granted by their families because they forget to take time for themselves.

I try to be a little of each of these moms, a Jill of all Trades as it were. I make time for myself by reminding myself that if I don't, I won't be there to take care of my family or to be the mom I want to be. So the best piece of advice I try to give the moms I know is remember to take care of you so you can take care of your kids the way you want to take care of them.