The Top 10 All Female Bands of All Time

The Beatles are considered by some to be a "Boy Band" because there were four of them and they played their own instruments. For some reason they were frequently compared to The New Kids on the Block and even The Backstreet Boys in the past. Of course, neither of those latter bands played their own instruments and the comparison is therefore rigid, lame, and shallow despite the novelty effect of seeing any of them live.

In the same vein, when considering female bands, one must define exactly what kind of music we're exploring. First, each band here must play their own instruments. This rids us of many "Girl Bands" such as The Supremes, The Spice Girls, TLC, and Destiny's Child. This is not to say that these fine ladies couldn't sing. They were great for what they were, but they did not an instrument play on stage. Second, each band must be formed or made of only female members. This removes bands like The Cranberries, Blondie, ABBA, Hole, Heart, Siousxie and the Banshees, and (tears are falling here!) The Breeders, Elastica, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Garbage, and Ladytron. It also eliminates solo-female leads like Celine Dion and Janis Joplin. This may trouble some, and that's fine and dandy, because we're here to celebrate and learn from only the ladies. They are the better half of everything after all!

10. THE GO-GO'S
Before Belinda Carlisle declared heaven was a place on earth, she and her gal rockers were doing lines of cocaine and making all of L.A. want to take a vacation. These hits will never go away, especially the infamous "We Got the Beat" and "Our Lips are Sealed", which filled arenas and nearly convinced The Germs to let the former cheer-leading Carlisle front them.

Albums you must own: VACATION (1982)

9. SHONEN KNIFE
The sisters Naoko and Atsuko Yamano, along with bassist Michie Nakatani formed in Osaka in the early eighties. They loved the Ramones and XTC, but had an odd infatuation with sweets. They sang of eating Jelly Beans and instead of "I Wanna Be Sedated" they made punk-pop hyperness of "I Wanna Eat Chocobars". They also switched the trend of using Japan as a fan base to financial freedom. Did anyone really ever listen to Cheap Trick until they played there? In short, no! Thus, when the gals left dodge and created devoted followers at CBGB's it raised an eyebrow or three.

The gals mainly sing in their native language, but ESL instructors everywhere will laugh in stride at their attempts to scream and squeal in English! This isn't nearly as fun as their over-the-top joy that is revealingly genuine, but when the punk gods hear them longing to have "blue eyes, blond hair, tight body, long legs" over the Ramones riffs of "We're a Happy Family" they can't help but smile in between sneers and eating ice cream for breakfast!

Albums you should own: SHONEN KNIFE (1984)

8. THE DONNAS
Do not be fooled by The Donnas. They are arena rockers that will absolutely not perform a single ballad. Thank God! After a show it's John Hughes films, Jack Daniels, and the hopes that AC/DC will be standing outside their windows playing "Big Balls" to charm their jeans off. Purists will smirk off their high-energy teen guitar wizardry, but those assholes will also take "Titanic" over "Say Anything".

Albums you must own: GET SKINTIGHT (2004)

7. LUSCIOUS JACKSON
A New York punk quartet that raps is a bizarre path to take but LJ pulled it off. They shanked the former and female drummer of the Beastie Boys away, and dominated modern rock in 1996 with a before its time lo-fi celebration of being naked ("Naked Eye"). Even granolas and grandmas pranced to it, but it was 1994's "Natural Ingredients" that best showed LJ's raucous party skills. Not many gals can honestly claim that they succeeded in the five Burroughs where the Beastie Boys failed.

Albums you must own: NATURAL INGREDIENTS (1994)

6. SALT-N-PEPA
If you don't think a turn-table is an instrument, then you owe a sobering mea culpa to all your clubbing and retro-rave nights of yore. Cheryl James, Sandy Denton, and Dee Dee Roper have always kicked everything, including hip-hop and rap, in the pants. With the surprise success and controversy of "Push It" they showed that a DJ and club-hopping lovers everywhere could be a band. While they were rhyming and grinding out a new drrrty grrrl act for legions to follow and emulate, they always knew how fat their wallets were in between bottles of hooch.

Albums you should own: HOT, COOL & VICIOUS (1986)

5. L7
Punk officially "broke" in the 90's and acts like Nirvana and L7 were welcomed to make the stylistic sounds of 70's punk relevant again. In the midst of the deaths of the big hairs like Poison, Cinderella, Faster Pussycat, Vixen, and Ratt (to name a few) arose a strange single in 1992 called "Pretend We're Dead". All of a sudden the jocks wanted to know what the fuck "Night of the Living Dead" was, who the Stooges were, and why pogo dancing and mosh pits had unwritten rules.

L7, despite their seemingly one note debut single on popular radio, continued jamming and shook the one hit wonderdom and problems so many previous gals had faced. In 1997 they finally gave punk's face a scalpel to change things up with in the form of "The Beauty Process: Triple Platinum". L7 had shaken things up while the masses bought albums by Hole at the mall. Sometimes the world just isn't fair and the true rocking squares can't fit the circles.

Albums you should own: THE BEAUTY PROCESS: TRIPLE PLATINUM

4. THE RUNAWAYS
As Star Wars changed the cinema forever, The Runaways changed the path for female bands. If you're not quite sure who they are then you might recognize the names Joan Jett and Lita Ford. What's-her-name of Twilight fame will play Joan in a new docu-movie shortly, which will undoubtedly increase the number of times one hears Cherry Bomb when tweeners get a call. Regardless of their contingent glory and their bitter break up due to financial debacles, they enjoyed the rock-n-roll lifestyles to its fullest:

"Can't stay at home, can't stay at school.
Old folks say, 'Ya' poor little fool!'
Down the street, I'm the girl next door.
I'm the fox you've been waiting for.

Hello daddy, hello mom!
I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch cherry bomb!"

3. THE SLITS
Knowing and loving The Slits may save your life one night. If you've ever met a true fan then you may see what it's like to be a member of a tribe. There is a deep seeded loyalty among them, and deservedly so. The Slits could barely play their own instruments when they opened for The Clash, but they learned and they were the culprits behind every riot grrrls band ever.

There is an enigmatic spirit within their punk and reggae mix that's highlighted by a more than strange female bravado. The Slits were such blazers for the female-punk trail that lead singer, Ari Up was once rumored to be stabbed by a "disco man" who told her, "there's a slit for you!"

Regardless of the tale, these girls came to rage. Not many, male or female, has ever raged better!

Albums you should own: CUT (1979)

2. THE RAINCOATS
Ana da Silva and her motley crew have inspired countless acts. Kurt Cobain outlined an homage to find their debut album on the inside lining of "Incesticide", and this actually brought the legends out of hiding in 1994. Their early work may be tagged as simply artsy and therefore tentative by some, but when they released "Looking in the Shadows" in the mid-90's they could have reshaped the music scene again.

With songs like "Baby Dog", these girls looked at everyday occurrences with very different lenses. They imagined strolling through the park with a dog in a baby-carriage. Is it controversial to look at infertility this way? The controversy should be not noticing, and the male's inability to contingently understand. Go ahead and call them tentative artsy punks if you want. Some of us have an ear for smart archetypes and the longing to hear unimaginable pain in a new light. We know who we are.

Albums you must own: LOOKING IN THE SHADOWS (1996)

1. SLEATER-KINNEY
The absolute best! I dare you to find something on a compilation that can be played after them. They're that good, just listen. It's okay to admit that a female band may be the best ever.

Albums you must own: THE WOODS (2005), ONE BEAT (2002), DIG ME OUT (1996), CALL THE DOCTOR (1996)