The Top 10 Celebrity Wardrobe Malfunctions of the Decade

If you've ever forgotten to zip your fly before going out in public, or had the bottoms of your swim suit come off after a fantastic dive into a public pool, you're familiar with the concept of 'wardrobe malfunction.' When it happens to us common folks, it creates a moment of red-faced embarrassment. When it happens to a well-known celebrity, it creates headlines. Over this past decade, it seems we've had an epidemic of celebrity wardrobe malfunctions. Some were titillating, others were the type of incident that makes you want to avert your eyes, and others were just plain dumb.

Trying to determine which were the top ten 'malfunctions' of the decade is like trying to decide whether we'd prefer strawberry or rocky road ice cream. Nevertheless, nothing ventured, nothing gain. Herewith are the 10 'Best/Worst' Celebrity Wardrobe Malfunctions of this decade that is about to end.

1. Skater Ekaterina Rubleva and her partner were engaged in a spinning movement at the European Figure Skating Championships in Helsinki, when her right breast popped out of the skimpy costume she was wearing. She cut a fetching figure, but the judges were apparently not all that impressed, as they didn't win the competition. I guess they didn't think that was classic 'figure' skating. In my opinion, though, Ekaterina cut a fine figure and deserves first place on the list.
2. Katie Price (aka Jordan), at an book promotion event lifted her arms in a victory sign, and gave booklovers an unabridged view of her ample right breast. She's a beautiful and full-figured lady, and I'm sure she attracted many thousands to the pleasures of reading with that move. A clear number two.
3. Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake were the featured performers at the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show which was on national TV. Justin ripped off her breastplate giving viewers an all too brief glimpse of her tassel-covered right breast. It created a firestorm among conservatives, but wasn't all that much to see. Because I really like Janet, though, and think she's a real beauty, I'm giving her third place.
4. Spice Girl Geri Halliwell wore a flimsy dress to a British Children's award show. A gust of air blew it up, exposing her shapely nether regions. She gets fourth place for her tacky choice of attire, which wasn't really appropriate for the venue.
5. Olympic swimmer Flavia Zoccari was wearing one of the controversial skin-tight swim suits at the Mediterranean Games in Italy. The suit split in the back as she was preparing to swim, giving fans a good look at her slim backside. Unfortunately, there was no replacement suit and she had to withdraw. Gave new meaning to the term 'backstroke.' She get's fifth place as a sympathy vote.
6. Beyonce is a fantastic singer, a great dancer, and a beautiful woman. TV viewers who were alert now know she has a fantastic frame. During a dance number at the 2009 Oscar program, the top of her costume slipped just enough to provide a brief glimpse of her nipple. Would you care to dance? It was tempting to give her first place, but the scene was too brief, so she comes in at sixth.
7. In seventh place is 32-year old singer Shakira. In her case, it was less what she exposed than what she tried to cover. Taking a break from her singing to in a history course, she dressed like a man to avoid attracting attention. I give her seventh place for a futile gesture that has to have had the exact opposite effect than she intended.
8. Model Naomi Campbell, at a fashion show in Brazil, was wearing a teeny bikini. As she moved around the catwalk, the top slipped, displaying her left breast to the crowd. She gets eighth place for classiness; after all, it was Brazil where more is shown on the beaches every day.
9. Mariah Carey is a fabulous singer, despite being too much a copy of Whitney Houston, and she is undoubtedly beautiful. At a 2005 concert in Germany, the top of her dress fell apart as she was performing. Engineers immediately doused the lights to allow her to get off stage, and only the most alert in the crowd got a look at anything. I give her ninth place for not making a big deal of it, or milking it for the publicity.
10. Last on my list is Miss Universe Jennifer Hawkins. At the Sydney Fashion Show in 2004, as she was parading around, her dress 'fell' off, giving attendees a look at a tacky-looking thong covering a backside that looked like it belonged to a boy. She had to be more embarrassed at her lack of attributes than the exposure.