The Top 10 Music Videos of 1983 as Found on YouTube

If you remember the eighties well, you remember that MTV really exploded in popularity around 1983. I was eight years old that year and I can recall being MTV being banned in our house more than once and occasional sneaking viewings leading to a full on revocation of the rule to keep the kids happy. It has been the butt of a joke for ages that MTV used to play videos, but if you grew up during this time watching the videos get more and more surreal, you would know what an iconoclastic medium MTV was. You would know why it makes those of us who remember the halcyon days of the video so sad to see another season of Road Rules or My Big Fat Sixteenth Birthday Botox. Watch these great videos from '83 and imagine a time of wild hair, Kangaroos shoes, good cereal box toys and drum machines.

10. "Safety Dance" Men Without Hats
My friend's older sister used to sit in her room and play the instrumental intro to this song over and over, just kept moving the needle back to the beginning. We never could figure out why. But this video still holds up. Everyone loves a dwarf and a wench doing the maypole dance. I'll bet a lot of people joined the Society for Creative Anachronisms after seeing this.

9. "Stray Cat Strut" Stray Cats
The Stray Cats' "Stray Cat Strut" was one of the rare videos of the era that actually had something to do with the song lyrics. At eight years old when this was in heavy rotation I didn't know the word rockabilly but I knew this music was the definition of cool. The big guitar, the over the top hair and the vintage clothes make this a crowd you'd party with, if you could dodge the old lady.
Lead singer Brian Setzer was also a big player in the swing revival of the Nineties. How cool is that?

8. "Goody Two Shoes" Adam Ant
I thought at the time this was punk rock because of the makeup but I don't know what to call it now. Maybe a mixture of ska and rockabilly. Anyway, Adam Ant's fine self in crazy wild west soldier gear pursuing the archetypal snotty sexy librarian makes me, like the butler, want to watch through the keyhole to find out "what do he do."

7. "Jeopardy" Greg Kihn Band (audio is low quality as this appears to be from an old VHS tape)
The groom stands nervously at the altar next to his veiled bride. He looks back over his shoulder and sees two old couples holding hands; on one couple a pair of handcuffs appear. The second couple somehow horribly meld so they have one waxen pulsing arm. Horrifying! Of course you'll need to watch the video to find out what happens next. By the way, Weird Al parodiedthis song and Greg Kihn was hip enough to appear in Al's video.

6. "Twilight Zone" Golden Earring
This video gives the feeling of a bad dream while watching it. Dig the dancing executioners. Why were so many videos disturbing in 83? Why do they still affect me? And why is he all alone waiting at the end?

5. "You Can't Hurry Love" Phil Collins
This video looked high tech when it was new and it still looks good now from the dvd. Of course I have to ask if the world needs more than one Phil Collins, even if he does look impossibly young here. Anyway, although I always thought the song was great, I appreciate the video more knowing as I do now that it's an homage to the classic dancing, singing soul groups of the sixties.

4. "Separate Ways" Journey
There is no doubt that this was my personal favorite at the time, although I've not ranked it number one here. The guy playing air keyboards is worth the price of admission and the girl's outfit is a must have. Steve Perry's hands' emoting inspired a generation of karaoke singers.

3. "Thriller" Michael Jackson
Now here is an example of how an article can change while you are researching. I was of course going to include Michael Jackson's groundbreaking Thriller video, complete with celebrated Rick Baker makeup and VIncent Price's creepy rap, not to mention Michael trying to do a convincing job of cuddling with the cute chick. But I've decided for the purposes of the article to include the Thriller Wedding Video because it distracted me. This groom made the wedding party practice for a month and a half to get this dance down for the reception because it made the bride so happy when she saw Jennifer Garner do the dance in Thirteen Going on Thirty. I can't stop watching this parody. I am also reminded, to paraphrase a bumper I saw on Cartoon Network in '06, that nobody would've believed it in 1983 if you had told them Weird Al would one day be more relevant than Michael Jackson.

2. "Total Eclipse of the Heart" Bonnie Tyler
A creepy old school building at night is the scene where a hot young teacher is tormented by visions of nubile schoolboys. See them get splashed with water at swim practice! Watch their shirts blow open while wearing school ties. Throw in some ballet dancing ninjas, no, make them shirtless in fur loincloths and legwarmers and some really big hair and you've got the video for "Total Eclipse of the Heart."
Bonnie Tyler is sexy and mysterious lip syncing her signature song and I am still creeped out by those kids with the lights coming out of their eyes, but what the hell is going on in this video? Whatever it means, I never get tired of this video.
Oh, and I didn't know this until writing this article, but apparently the lyrics were written by Jim Steinman, who also wrote most of Meat Loaf's songs.

1. "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)" Eurythmics
Notable for their collection of innovative and surreal videos, Eurythmics blew everyone away with this song and video in the summer of 83. I clearly remember sitting in front of the living room TV waiting for this video to come on every two hours during the part of that Georgia summer when it was too hot to play outside. Why was that striking woman dressed like a man? I was just wrapping my mind around the fact that Boy George wasn't a woman and now this? What is she trying to tell the guy at the other end of the conference table with her film and speech? Can I have a cane like that to take to meetings when I grow up? What does this video mean?
Actually, now that I listen to this song to write about it, after having heard it eleventy billion times in my life, I've decided it's about protecting yourself during the no doubt backbreaking climb to the top of the music business and perhaps an indictment of capitalism. Cool video, though.