The Top 10 Things I Learned After Getting Married

Going from a single woman, living at my parents house or college dorm room, to a married woman, living with someone of the male species, has been a little different, to say the least. I am happily married and wouldn't have it any other way, but the ride has been an interesting one. I would never trade being married to my husband for anything, but sometimes I would like to trade some of his habits. Here are a few things, which I must say I find very humorous now, that I have learned after getting married.

1.) A toothpaste tube can actually accumulate more toothpaste on the outside than what is left on the inside.

2.) No matter what, under no circumstance, can your husband watch TV and carry on any type of conversation

3.) If your husband says, "I have to go take care of some business." You can be certain that no business whatsoever will be taking place. (and you will need some air freshener)

4.) Once you are married, there is no such thing as "privacy."

5.) The difference between a man and a woman is this; when a woman becomes good friends with someone, they will hug them each time they see them. When a man becomes good friends with someone, they will fart on them each time they see them. (apparently, this is considered a show of affection)

6.) You will never again enjoy "just a backrub," unless your idea of a backrub is being pawed.

7.) Your husband won't always say thank you for dinner, but, if you are lucky, he will belch extremely loud. To him, that is the same thing.

8.) Just because there is a laundry hamper in the bathroom, this does not mean that every single piece of clothing your husband takes off before taking a shower will not end up on your bathroom floor.

9.) If your husband purposely looks the other direction when walking by that lingerie store in the mall, you should not be angry that he was had to turn his head so he would not look at it, but, instead, you should reward him with a kiss. Good for him!

10.) When you said, "Till death do us part," it didn't mean "until I kill you for leaving the toilet seat up so I fall in at 3:00 in the morning"

Obviously, I am being facetious on a lot of these. There will be tough times in marriage, but there are also those moments of bliss that you should never take for granted. I love my husband with all my heart, and just look at how much he has taught me!