The Top 5 Things Angelina Jolie Wants for Christmas

As a Special Ambassador to the United Nations Brangelina has a particular job to do and that's better the community in which she is working. But she has gone above and beyond the call of duty, bringing joy to several children from developing countries who now have two Hollywood parents and all the things in the world they could ever want.

Except more siblings, that is. The other half of Brangelina once famously said he would like to have enough children to form a soccer team. There are lots of deserving children from developing nations who would love to have the opportunity.

But this is about Christmas and only room for five things on Jolie's wish list.

5. World peace. This goes without saying; I think at least one million people in the world wish for this (except for certain world leaders in certain developing countries who shall remain nameless).

4. An end to hunger. Are you hungry? Angelina cares. And, if you're lucky she will come to your developing nation and snag your child in what has to be the biggest sweepstakes event in the history of child adoption. Then he or she will never go hungry again!

3. Shelter for all mankind. This includes those tribes that don't like to live in dwellings and nomads, as well as sheepherders and sailors. Everyone deserves to have adequate shelter and you know she'll try to facilitate that!

2. A new husband with more money than Brad. She must upgrade in order to fulfill the three above wishes. Brad is loaded, however, you know he's probably got Bentleys to gas up and yachts to sail. This does not bode well for Angelina's plans to bring peace to the Western Hemisphere.

1. Children. What else do you think she'd want? Considering she may yet lose one of her children to the African nation from whence it came, it is high time for Jolie to jump in her Learjet and pick up another! Hurry, Angelina! Time's wasting and you've got a ways to go to field a soccer team!!