The Top Five Worst Things to Get Your Man for Christmas

Alexis Devan
Alexis Devan, Yahoo! Contributor Network
Nov 12, 2009 "Share your voice on Yahoo! websites. Start Here."
  1. Eztenze. Sure, you may wish your bf was packing more, but short of a very painful and odd surgical procedure no magic pill or pump is going to make his appendages magically grow, Even if you think you are just helping a guy out, there is no way for this gift to not be insulting, even if it is a "joke". On a serious note the company selling the herbal nutritional supplement claiming to "promote male enhancement" was ordered in 2006 to pay the Orange County, CA district attorney $300,000 in civil penalties for unfair business practices and false advertisement.
  1. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Unless your idea of a good time is watching your boyfriend play monotonous video games with his friends, I would skip this one. Not to mention, considering it was the fastest selling video game in history, he likely already has it. This is what we consider a waste of $60.
  1. Tickets to the newest theatre/play/ballet. Unless your man is in the minority, this is really a gift for you. Sure, lots of guys go with their ladies to see Wicked or Phantom of the Opera, but odds are he wouldn't take the initiative to see either on his own accord.
  1. Lottery Tickets. I once knew a couple where the girl bought her boyfriend $500 in lottery tickets. Not only did they amount to a couple dollars in winnings but it really was a poor gift option. She lost $500 and he had, essentially, no gift. If you're going for the gambling route try a stay at a casino or even a gift certificate at a horse track. If you are thinking of doing something like this with scratch offs, please keep it to a stocking stuffer as a minimum. No matter how much your boyfriend may seem to enjoy scratch offs there is a point of diminishing returns when it's just not fun anymore to scratch off that silver foil stuff just to find out you didn't win the $10,000.
  1. A home depot gift card. Okay, home depot and Lowes may seem like manly stores, but if your boyfriend was born after 1980 odds are he probably doesn't even know how to change a tire. In this information age where kids were coddled and we all were told how special we were and forced into college, learning how to build and/or fix things has become the exception rather than the rule. So, if your boyfriend sits at a desk all day and has hands softer than yours, I would rule this option out.

Published by Alexis Devan

Alexis is a vegetarian and a world traveler. She has been to 20 countries on 5 continents so far, all before the age of 28. Alexis obtained a BS degree in paralegal studies and is currently a graduate studen...  View profile

  • Don't insult your boyfriend penis
  • Only gay men truly enjoy the ballet
  • Most white collar men can not replace your timing belt

To comment, please sign in to your Yahoo! account, or sign up for a new account.