The Top Ten Ways for a Woman to Get a Man to Listen to Her

What is the most effective way to get a man to listen to you? No matter what your gender is, but particularly if you are a woman, the first tool is to be a good listener, too. Women are such emotional creatures that the urge to blurt out what's in the heart is irresistible, leaving little room for reciprocal communication.

What the heck is reciprocal communication? It's just a two-way conversation. And, conversations that only go one way are called lectures. So, if you think a man is not listening to what you're saying, ask yourself if you are lecturing.

A recent survey of women from all over the U.S. in many different walks of life revealed a few similarities, and definitely a few differences. But, one common thread rang true with most. Remove distractions! We all know how to get his attention, but listening is different.

A wealth of information is found from the women surveyed ranging in age from 24 to 79. Some are married, some are not. These words of wisdom come from women who are secretaries, teachers, homemakers, professors, doctors, office managers and more. Though all are very different, one thing remains the same - getting a man to listen is a challenge.

Of the men surveyed - one answered. Surprised? And what he had to say may not be that surprising!

Here's what our women said:

10) "Men like to find solutions to problems; women just like to talk about them. Want someone to listen to you - don't denigrate or belittle. Treat whoever you are speaking to with respect (even if you have been sharing a bed with them for years and years and years). Talk in terms they can understand."

9) "Get him in the car on a long road trip with a broken radio."

8) "I hate to say it, but reserved charm and humor in direct proportion to how stupid and concrete they are being…. has worked when I can stomach it. Betty Friedan,,, please forgive me."

7) "A man will listen intently if you talk about him and tell him how all-fired great he is!"

6) "I find I need to be direct, not discuss anything of importance while he is watching TV or on the computer or reading a "manly" magazine. If I tell him we need to talk and I need you to listen to me, that is the key for me."

5) "Facts on paper. Men are visual creatures. They like to see the facts the price and some time to think it over. They always say no before they say yes - so don't be discouraged."

4) "Hmm. Scream really loudly? No, that's not it. Stand naked before him...no, definitely not. I would say that making sure there are no distractions is important (as in tv or radio playing "the game") and that you don't "ambush" him."

3) "Honestly? I think the best way to get a man to listen to you is to give him a beer (or another alcoholic beverage he likes), and say something like "I need your help" will put him into "fix it" mode which guys love. If you see his beer running low, casually walk to the fridge to grab another while still engaging him in conversation."

2) "Turning off the TV might help. Guys are like kids, easily distracted by shiny, loud objects."

Of course, these are just tried and true suggestions from real women. Conversation and listening always have so many variables. Number one is the man with whom you are speaking. We're all different and give and receive in different ways. Let's remember to be sensitive to what the person who is listening really needs, too!

The one man who answered the survey had this to say:

And Number 1) "Hum ... I know several ways a woman can get a man's ATTENTION, uh huh, but getting him to listen to you is another more complicated story ... I'm sure he'd listen closely after you said to him, "Honey, you're going to be a father." But, to be serious, I suppose the man must be isolated from distractions, including sports, other women, and even the ability to watch traffic and admire the vehicles going by. In other words, take the guy out into the mountains to a remote spot where you're the only ones there. Hike for a few miles until he's hungry and thirsty, then open your backpack and serve some food and beer ... and I suppose he'll listen to you then ... but I wouldn't guarantee it ... and don't wear leather ... leather makes a woman smell like a new truck ... hahaha ... "