The Transforming Power of God's Amazing Grace

Having been so fully delivered from fear, it truly breaks my heart to learn that fear abounds in the life of believers today. So I hope that by sharing some of my story, the Holy Spirit can open all of our hearts to understand that God's desire is to deliver us from fear rather than enslave us to it. In fact, Romans 8:15 says For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear... And 2 Timothy 1:7 (AMP) also says For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.

My mother was an untreated schizophrenic, and my father was unable to protect us from her rages and paranoia. And her behavior was worsened by an obsession with the occult. At times the abuse became physical; even though it was always mental and emotional. At the age of twelve, I experienced sexual abuse by a family friend and never spoke of it, because I was afraid I would hear that I deserved it, which would not have been uncommon from my mother. I only share these details, because they're necessary to provide a full understanding of the impact fear had in my life.

So I experienced and understand the fear defined by Webster's dictionary as: "a dread or anxiety caused by impending danger or pain." And I can personally attest that fear is not capable of producing joy or any peaceable fruit in our lives. It is only capable of producing Cain's fruit, which were jealousy, anger, murder and rebellion. My fear was so intense and so constant that I became very angry, particularly towards my parents. And my anger led me to rebel against them and any authority. Yes, I continued to be a straight A student; I never broke curfew; I never drank or did drugs; and I even continued to do all of my household chores. I obeyed the letter of the law because I was afraid to do otherwise. But my anger had turned inward and I was bent on self-destruction.

As a young adult, my fear-inspired choices even brought me to homelessness at one point. And my anger really manifested itself in the early part of my marriage. I honestly believed that God was watching me; just waiting for me to make a mistake so He could punish me. But obviously, something wonderful happened between that time and the present and that something wonderful was God's GRACE.

Webster's defines grace as: "Goodwill or favor, a divine sanctifying, regenerating and preserving influence." And anyone who knows my testimony knows that it is that influence that has been operating in my life. His preservation of my spirit has seen the restoration of my marriage, and the new peace in my home. His regeneration has brought about my reconciliation with my sister and my father's salvation. His divine sanctification has led me to work in the mental health field and offer my clients the same thing He offered me-compassion and a belief in new beginnings.

So what is my life a testimony of, if not grace itself? As the Bible tells us, a tree is known by its fruit, and only God's grace could yield such a harvest of peace and righteousness in a life as tumultuous as mine. So my life really confirms Jesus' words to the Pharisees in Matthew 9:13, when He said "But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.'...

As evidenced by my past, fear of God had no power to bring about positive change in my life. In fact, it only perpetuated the cycle of anger and abuse. For those who say that we must only fear God and that grace is useless, I ask the question, how was fear not able to produce good fruit in my life? If God intended us to be ruled by fear, then why does Jesus tell us again and again to cleanse ourselves from fear?

Romans 9:16 says It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy. So this verse makes it clear that our obedience, whether of pure or impure motives, is not enough to fulfill God's promises; nor to bring about His perfect will. If fear was a part of God's ultimate plan for believers, wouldn't this verse then tell us that all things depended on us fearing God rather than the mercy of God toward humankind? What was the purpose of the crucified Christ, if not to show that God's very nature is one of love, mercy and grace? The prayers of Jesus in Gethsemane clearly show that He was dedicated to accomplishing the will of the Father rather than spare his own life. What was the need for such a sacrifice if all God required of us was to dread Him? Remember when Moses went to the mountain in order to receive the 10 Commandments and the people were afraid to go near the mountain? Doesn't Jesus' appearance on the scene and his ministry clearly indicate that God was not satisfied just to have His people live only in fear of Him? As humans we fear the unknown; but God sent Jesus for the very purpose of revealing the full nature and character of a loving, compassionate God so that our fear could be replaced by love. God doesn't want us to be afraid of him in that sense.

Proverbs 1:7 in the Amplified Bible says The reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord is the beginning and the principal and choice part of knowledge [its starting point and its essence]; but fools despise skillful and godly Wisdom, instruction, and discipline. And Webster defines reverence as a feeling of respect, affection and awe. Worship is defined as a feeling of reverence, respect and admiration, a sense of devotion. These definitions clearly describe God's will when it comes to proper fear of Him. So our fear of the Lord should not be motivated by a desire to avoid danger or pain by His hand; our fear of the Lord is an act of devotion, born out of love, affection and respect for our Creator.

Grace is God's unmerited favor to those whom HE loves; not those who fear Him. Galatians 5:6 says ...The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. How can faith be expressed through fear? And Romans 5:1-2 says Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.

And there's another important point we cannot ignore when considering the power and authority given to us by God. As it says in 2 Timothy 1:7, quoted above, we have received a spirit of power and love in order that we may be equipped to overcome all evil and bring glory to our Father. Can power be trusted in the hands of those who become angry and mutinous due to sustained dread and anxiety? Let me again use my own childhood as an example. There was no love in my home at all. My parents did not seek to win affection or trust from their children. Instead, they expected us to fear them and obey out of fear. My mother would ignore us for weeks on end if we did something that displeased her, such as leaving a towel on the bathroom floor. Initially, we obeyed only because we hoped one day to win her love. But when it became clear to my sister and me that we would never succeed in doing so, I rebelled and my sister became suicidal. I hate to admit it, but I will be very honest just to reveal the negative impact of fear upon a person's mind and spirit. If I had believed that I had ANY power as a child, I would have used that power against them to hurt them and to protect myself from them. God can trust us with power and authority when we are in a right relationship with him, because our words and actions are motivated by the trust and love that we have for Him. If we were to fear God as some say we should, wouldn't we eventually try to use that power to bring Him down? We don't have to look far into history to see that that is exactly what human nature does; when it feels threatened, it fights back.

So I hope and pray that it's obvious that my motivation for writing this is love. I long for others to experience the peace and quality of life I now have since being delivered from fear. The evidence is clear; when my heart was full of anger and fear, I led a miserable life and produced no good thing. But when God cleansed me of that fear and brought me to understand love, I was no longer a victim or a victimizer. I was freed to "walk in the land of the living." As it says in Luke 7:47 Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven-for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little."

Love is the simple answer for everyone, so I pray that everyone chooses to embrace it rather than fear.