The Trials of Life

Running through trees as far and endless as the eye can see. The rain cleansing the air of its pollutants and the fresh smell of flowers and trees rise in abundance. The rain slowly drips down my face with its cold touch piercing my skin. The soft dirt slowly gives way, turning into mud, slipping and sliding down this endless path. The slight breeze rustles the dying leaves with such ease. The clouds loom with such power, such sorrow. Lightning flashes with the light of fury snapping in anger. With a burst of laughter my trance is broken, and I'm tossed back into reality. Rene speaks exuberantly with such a childish touch that I forget we are running, "Isn't it great?" I wonder silently to myself as to what is he thinking. Why is it so great? I'm cold, out of shape, and honestly I don't want to be here. Larkin continues jumping through puddles attempting to splash me, running off the trail and exploring others which we've never gone down. He bolts down a side trail and in a quick reflex I bolt after him in wild pursuit. Falling into a trance again I think "Why do I do this? Pain, failure, loss; what am I gaining?"

Toeing the line I look left, and right. The tension is set in the air as people listen for the gun. One false step can mean all sorts of trouble. I'm confident though that I've done what has needed to be done throughout this year. With a loud bang twenty athletes set off at a blistering pace around the first turn. Jockeying for position, the rhythmic breathing of many sucking for air in an infinite attempt to fulfill the bodies need. I run on the outside assuring that I stay out of trouble. Making my way through the pack moving on to the hip of the leader. He glances to the side and immediately a fire is lit, his leg drive gradually picks up. My breathing has turned to wheezing, my legs burn with anger and fury. The fear of failure creeps in, letting the team down in an important race. Digging deeper and finding some sort of reserve I respond to the move of the leader. Entering into the last turn with muscles tightening, "stay loose" I think, "stay loose." A brilliant flash of pain enters up through my calf, and I begin hurdling towards the ground. Flailing I managed to get my leg out in front of me and regain my balance. The leader's pulling away, pain, and tightness radiate throughout me. Crossing the line in what should have been joy. I stumbled to the infield and there I collapsed the sun shining down brightly down on my beat body. Gathering myself and getting up in a fit of anger I stormed to the other side of the field threw my spikes back at camp, and left to be by myself. Contemplating to myself what I should do? The pain unbearable, not the physical pain of exhaustion or the pain that was caused by the piercing of the spikes in the back of my calf. The pain of faltering in a race where I should have been at the top, letting my team down and giving away valuable points to the opponents. The sight of myself unbearable, the pungent smell of failure looming around my head, my heart pounding in my ears "thump, thump", everybody's attempt to comfort me sounds like a foreign language, the dry taste of blood welling with in my throat.

Snapped out of my daydream with a "smack" from a branch that I had missed in my infinite need to relive the moments that hurt most with the one of the sport that I love more than most. Larkin continues to have a blast as we duck, and dodge low hanging tree branches. Why couldn't I be so carefree with my running such as him? He's gone through many of the failures I had. Yet he woke up and went running with me almost every day and he never seemed to struggle with the same pains that I did all the time. The rain has picked up and the drops are becoming sharper, turning into a repeated stabbing from Mother Nature. We quickly seek refuge within a natural cave that lies deep within the park. Dark and musty was the only way to describe the place that we decided to hide in. Flashes of lightning begin illuminating the sky that is now turning to night. In a matter of hours if the storm decided not to lighten up then we'd be stuck here in a blanket of darkness. Ducking off into a corner blisters engulfing the bottom of my feet, ankles sore from the strain of the uneven terrain and sliding around in the mud.

Sitting in the emergency room - left ankle wrapped like a mummy, light-headed, and not a slight bit of pain. The smell is hideous, I've always hated being in hospitals the white walls so plain and unpleasant to emotions at the time. I struggle with the reality of what just happened to me. I'm in the best shape of my life getting ready for an outstanding second year of College Cross Country. Now all of it's been tossed down the well in a fit of joyful rejoice with my cousin. All of this bad luck on a vacation. My cousin, Brandon, and I were roughhousing in the second floor of the barn. When we twisted in a awkward direction and I stepped back to regain my balance I put my leg through the window behind me. The shattering sound of glass falling two stories onto the ground below, the neighbor shouting from his backyard asking if "everybody was okay?" I had thought so at the time and told him "yes." What I didn't notice since the cut so clean and deep that I had actually been hurt. Flipped on the lights and was scared of how mad my Uncle was going to be that we had broken the window. Then surely I felt that warm moisture dripping down the side of my leg pooling around my feet. Quickly my cousins and I rushed down the ladder into the house. My aunt was so calm, so collected it was eerie. As I became lightheaded my uncle quickly got his first aid kit, wrapped my leg up, and applied pressure to attempt to slow the bleeding just a bit.

Finally I get called back to see a doctor after sitting in the waiting room for over two hours. The first doctor I see tells me that I won't be able to have the surgery done at this hospital because it was private. The second doctor I see does all that is within her power to assure that I was able to have my surgery done. I am a collegiate athlete but certainly not a scholarship athlete. Instead of ever mentioning this, she hops straight onto the phone and begins lying to multiple people telling them I was. You would never be able to tell her voice didn't shake, and it sounded genuine. The only reason I would have been able to ever tell that she was fibbing to help me was when she would look back and smile. Her eyes shone brightly with a glimmer saying to me, "I did it; they are going to help you here." Life seemed like it would get better from this point on.

I finally met with the doctor who was to perform my surgery. Taking a look in my ankle and my foot he was able to tell that I had torn three toe extensors in my foot. The blood continued to flow out of my ankle and the cold water that they used to flush the warm blood out was not sufficient to see what was actually wrong with my ankle. The blood filled up to quickly. Hours later I was finally sedated and was taken into surgery. The last thought that I remember being told before I went under was that I would be awake within the hour. Looking up at the clock as all of the medication wore off, I noticed that it had been over two hours since I went down for my surgery. Shortly after I found out that I had torn both peroneal tendons in my ankle, would be in a cast for at least three months, and would have to suffer through physical therapy at least for another couple after that.

Larkin glanced outside and said, "David, the storms passing I think we are good to go." What a relief, the air is still as clean as it can be. The fresh grass smells so poignant in the air. The storms off in the distance still lash out on poor others in fury. The moonlit lighting the path ever so gently for Larkin and I to go on running down. These were the moments that I lived for. The howling wind now had quieted down to a gentle cool breeze the kind that cools the body just enough to give you goose bumps. The remaining raindrops that sit on the leaves glisten ever so beautifully in the soft light that has been given to the earth. Everything looked so foreign to me; I'd never been down any of these paths at night. This is what I lived for exploring these new areas. Exploring who I was as a person. Coming up on a road I hear a loud screeching, and a loud crunching sound and silence. Sprinting up the trail to see get to the road. An accident the metal of the car bent around the light pole. Thankfully the person is alright and he was left unharmed from the accident.

Waking up to a missed called at four o'clock in the morning isn't pleasant. Throwing my covers in a grumpiness answering the phone in a groggy tone. I heard words I hadn't expected, "David get to the hospital, Danisha was in an accident." Not thinking much of what had just happened I threw the closest clothes and shoes on as quickly as possible, and flew down my steps and out of the house. Realizing that this wasn't going to be a fun drive with water rushing down the roads, I knew had to be safe and not let my emotions get the best of me on this drive. I might suffer the same fate if I'm not safe. The twenty minute drive felt like it took ages getting to the waiting room, it seems as if all three hundred students in my class are there. Tears flowing in abundance from everyone; time going by so slowly waiting for any sort of news. After several hours the doctors came out and told us that she was okay but she had shattered both legs, and suffered a lot of internal bleeding. The doctors told us she would be "okay" but the damage had been done. A fellow athlete lost so much because somebody decided that it would be safe to drink and drive. Not only that but to do so in bad weather had almost taken a special person's life.

Coming up the road to what would finally be the end of a run that should have only take an hour or a bit more. Taking almost three hours, and it seemed like an eternity. So many struggles had come during this run, and it seemed evident that I wasn't having much fun with this sport that I had always seemed to love with such great passion. I didn't even think that my friend had noticed it he was so enthralled with the weather and this run that we'd been on. Exploring and witnessing so much of nature's beauty. Even though we had come across a scene of an accident we were both thankful that everybody was okay and no harm was done to anyone, just the vehicle. He offered his advice to me explaining that I would get back into shape. I assured him that it didn't have anything to do with just getting back into shape. Rather that it had to do with the short comings of when I was in shape and the losses of so many people that I was so used to having around. I'd taken life for granted and that had always backfired and I should have learned from my lessons. Instead I fell back into my old habits. He took this chance to spring something on me that I hadn't expected to come from this night.

My 17^th birthday had rolled around, and nobody seemed to really notice it was my last year with many of my friends since so many of us were leaving for college. I sat inside my house watching a movie by myself. I heard a pounding at the door, and three people came rushing through my door. They were my friends but what were they doing? They tackled me and blindfolded me with black scarf. It felt rough, and it smelled sort of like a clean car. Picking me up they threw me in the trunk of the car, and began to drive off. The darkness was not something I was accustomed to. It smelled like sweaty shoes, it was so strong it made me gag to breathe in through my nose. The road was bumpy, with every little hole or bump I would bounce around just a bit more. I couldn't hear anybody talking but there was loud music blaring in the car. The subwoofers thumping right in front of me making my eyes rattle. I began to get dizzy from bouncing around so much but being unable to see anything. We came to a stop, and I could hear other people walking along the side of the car. They pulled me out and I hear some people gasping just a bit, and then some whispering, and laughing. Obviously people weren't expecting to see a blindfolded guy get pulled out of a trunk. Slowly we walked as they lead me into a building. I could smell food, hear lots of nose, and feel shells below my feet. Peanut shells? Were we at a Restaurant? The blindfold came up and in front of me were a bunch of my friends. I was so surprised to see all of them.

Snapping out of this memory I realized that my friend was right. I was focusing too much on the trials that seemed to hurt me more than most, and forgetting what good friends, family and talents I'd been blessed with. Running is what I've been blessed with. It's an outlet from life that allows me to see the beauty of all that surrounds me. It's an outlet to get away from the trivial events that bother me with everyday life. The tough days at school, the obnoxiously bad drivers that we all stumble by at some time or another, the trials that we all suffer from with family. Running is a true form of expression and I lost sight of that I was presented with any sort of problem. When I lost sight of what talent has been bestowed upon me. I became bitter with it. I didn't remember how blessed I am to have the ability to run at such a level. When so many other people don't have this chance; whether it's because of an accident or a disease. I should be thankful at all times that I have what I have. Not only sports but what I have with my family, the closeness that I will always continue to share with them. That I shouldn't ever take life for granted because at any moment they could be taken away from me. By accomplishing this I will be more thankful for the people that are around me such as my friends, and family.