The Trials and Tribulations of a Single Mom Raising a Disabled Child

A few years back a very special person came into my life and taught me some of the greatest life lessons of all, the most important one is to be thankful for having three healthy bright children of my own and also not to take one single breath for granted.

Making friends with new co-workers is especially important when you work day in and day out with one another, you have to get along with and respect each other.

When I met my co-worker for the first time, I could tell right away we would be friends. We instantly bonded and started to do things together. She even got me into Scrapbooking, which has turned out to be one of my favorite hobbies.

One of the things she mentioned to me right off the bat was that she was a single mom of a disabled daughter.

When her daughter's dad had left her seventeen years ago, just before her daughter was born, it was one of the hardest times of my co-worker's life, not only did she just find out she was pregnant and the father had run off, she also found out that her new baby would be born a vegetable with many problems. She was advised by her Gynecologist to have a termination of her pregnancy, my co-worker did not hesitate to disagree that it was not the answer, and there must be a reason why God had brought this baby into her life.

When she showed me the scrapbook of her only daughter, I quickly realized how sick she really was when she was born. The pages were adorned with pictures of what type of illness had stricken her only child. Hydrocephalus was the main impairment; this happens when a large amount of fluid gathers on the brain and does not circulate to the rest of the body. A shunt is placed in the head to drain the fluid to the lungs or other areas in the body. This condition caused severe motor and development delays in her daughter.

Her daughter was also in and out of the Hospitals with a multitude of surgeries. After only a couple days old, she had to have an emergency surgery due to her intestines malrotating, and also to fix other severe lower body birth defects.

Ever since she was born she has had numerous seizures and migraine headaches, some of which are severely debilitating.

It has been hard for my co-worker to hold down any job due to the fact that she can be called at anytime from her daughter's school and have to get up and leave to go take her to the Hospital.

The first year that we worked together she missed almost a day of work a week due to her daughter having seizures and shunt malfunctions.

The day to day struggles outside of just working a full time job to put food on the table is also a challenge. Money is tight being a single parent and her household relies on charities and food stamps to make ends meet.

Her daughter has to wear pull-ups all the time to prevent accidents, this can be costly and also time consuming when a mess has to be cleaned up.

There is also a night called "treatment night". This involves my coworker giving her daughter an enema every other night of the week. It is a messy job and also takes a timely chunk out of the evening, therefore leaving little time to get household chores done let alone getting any time to just unwind and distress.

There is never any "spur of the moment "opportunity to go out without her daughter either. She requires constant supervision, so a babysitter has to be hired when she is not at school.

Her father does not ever see her but he does pay child support, this helps out a small amount, but as you can imagine, any child with special needs requires a lot more "extras" than what a normal healthy child would require. Just beig able to make ends meet is always a struggle for her and daughter.

When my co-worker comes to work she always has a smile on her face and I've asked her before, "How is it you have a happy face on when you have so much to deal with when you go home tonight?" She answered; " Well, working here is my outlet and my only chance to get away and do something for myself, without having to constantly worry about my daughter, granted she is always on my mind, but at least I can focus on something else for the moment."

She has shown me that raising a child with special needs is not just a temporary thing. Most kids when they turn 18 will date, drive a car, go to college, move out of the house and eventually have families of their own. My co- worker will never have that lifestyle with her special needs daughter, she will be looking for a babysitter even when her daughter turns 25. Raising a special needs child is a lifetime commitment.

To meet her daughter is truly a treat. She has a wonderful personality and she is totally obsessed with Spongebob Squarepants. She is a little child trapped in a teenagers body. But one thing is always for sure whenever I see her, she has a smile on her face and a zest for life unlike anyone I've ever met before.

Knowing the two of them has drawn a greater appreciation that I feel for my own family and all that I am thankful for in their lives. When I have to sit in the back seat while they take their road tests for drivers training, Ill no longer cringe and complain. When I have to take them out to buy them that expensive prom dress, Ill try not to bark about the price tag and just be thankful that they are normal teenagers who can get up and use their legs to dance.

There are many things in life to be thankful for; especially family. Sometimes it takes seeing others who have disabilities for one to be thankful for all the blessings that they have been given.