The Triumphs and Tribulations of Homeschooling

My daughter, now four, is being schooled at home. At any rate, that is the intention. I am always baffled by one question, however: what or what all should a four year old know and how should I charter her progress before she enters first grade? Up until this point (and I doubt that it will change significantly in the near future), I have used a method of schooling that is directed by her. That is, she will tell me on any given day what she would like to learn on that particular day or what activities she would like to be engaged in. This works out quite well for the age-group that she falls into.

Nevertheless, I have always pondered over the question of why we don't want to send her to a regular school where she gets to interact with other kids her age, for example. And yet, when I really think about it, it is a very scary prospect, sending her to school. As parents, we have been told time and again that homeschooling has so many disadvantages and that we run the risk of socially isolating her or and so on. Somehow in my mind, the advantages seem to far outweigh the drawbacks. We live in a city in the south of peninsular India and that by itself is a significant deterrent to sending your kids anywhere. Pollution levels are abominably high for one, and traffic is crazy especially during rush hour, which invariably coincides with the school timings, for another.

Then there is also the issue of pressure to perform from a very young age. The Indian education system, (all due respect to it, it does have its strengths), emphasizes on competition a bit too much. Where then is the time for free play and discovery? Besides, I am a firm believer in the idea that there is no place like home for the child to develop a well rounded personality, self esteem, self confidence, independence and all. When I look at all this, I think her social life or the lack of it is no reason to send her to school. Friends can be found in other places too.

The things we do together at home reach far beyond the realm of reading, writing and math, though these are absolutely important as well. Here is an example - I take her out into the terrace everyday and ask her to help me water the plants. She loves that activity and it nurtures a feeling in her that plants, like humans need to be loved and cared for. She learns about each plant, the flowers and the colors of the flowers.

From the time they are born, till they are six, is supposedly the most crucial to their development and their adult life is shaped on and by the experiences of this time. This puts an enormous responsibility on us as parents to make sure that the best is delivered to them, and consistently. It has occurred to me many a time how nice it would be if parents could go to a school where they learn to double up as teachers. Its not easy figuring all this out is what I am saying.

There are good days and bad ones and days I feel terrible about keeping her at home, if only because I feel I don't do enough educational activities with her. If we happen to meet another child her age or a little older who can do something she cant as yet (like read or write, for example), then I end up chiding myself very hard - "either work with her more or send her to school", I hear voices in my head. The guilt gnaws incessantly at me until I try harder to make her achieve more. Then I say to myself that it hardly matters, she is still only a little more than four.

Another thing that I hear from my critics is that her social behavior now and in the future will be shaped by whether she socializes with her age group and how much she gets to interact with kids her age on a regular basis. The consolation for me then again, is that no matter which way you look at it, her parents are the best influence on her just now; that I would rather own the responsibility of being the predominant influence on her than be responsible for her getting influenced by a bunch of other rowdy four-year olds (okay dont yell at me, I am not suggesting that all four year olds are rowdy, but you know what I mean).

I guess what I am driving at is that there is no easy solution - either give in and let go or you try and integrate your beliefs into the method of educating your children. Personally I think whichever path you tread, the road will get rocky once in a while. The trick is to hang in there. For my own part, I know I am a novice in the field of schooling my children and ahead of us (parents) lay choices that have the potential to make or mar their future.

What we will choose remains to be seen. But I know deep inside that nothing good comes easy, that turning children into beautiful adults is no mean goal (or achievement) no matter which way you go and that the most important things in life aren't taught in schools anyway.