The True Meaning of MJ and Other Such Bumper Stickers

Bumper stickers were sacred to me when I was little. My first one read "I Brake For Brontosauri." Eventually, this, along with other gathered stickers, made its way onto my expressive guitar case. Each sticker on the case says something about me: "I participated in the 30th Star Trek Anniversary" (i.e., I'm a dork), "Don't Let Friends Vote Republican" (I'm a liberal), "I Love Irish Music" (I'm a music minor). Similarly, I've always smiled in support of those who have displayed their ideals via bumper stickers on cars: "Meat Is Murder," or the ever-popular, ironic, well-intended environmental slogan stickers that suburban activists happily place just above their exhaust systems. I'm always impressed by "Child Free" Beamers and "Right To Life" vans. Anyone expressing his or her beliefs, outright, graphically, and unadulterated via bumper sticker is obviously committed to them.

Recently, two new classes of bumper stickers have developed. The first includes patriotic American flag or God Bless America stickers, prevalent since September 11th, is a constant reminder of the rather human nature that Americans have seemed to develop post-tragedy. These stickers express pride and support the freedom of expression that America's supposed to be about.

The second breed of stickers, most often sported on SUVs, can be categorized by their circular nature. They are usually in black and white, and have capital letters that stand for something only a small percentage of the general population understands.

Sitting in traffic one day, I finally realized that most of these stickers represented country names: GB was Great Britain, etc. Henceforth, I was able to decipher the stickers that I encountered. I was and still remain in support of these-these stickers are simply displaying pride in one's heritage. As Americans, I think it's important that we retain some aspect of our ancestry, and displaying these stickers is a great way to do it. Furthermore, most people can figure out that IREL is an abbreviation for Ireland.

Months later, I found myself browsing band merchandise at a Sister Hazel concert. There I found SH bumper stickers. Even though I was at a Sister Hazel concert, it took me a moment to realize that SH stood for Sister Hazel, and not an obscure country somewhere in the world. If it took me a bit to realize what the SH stood for at the concert, and I was a fan of the band, then would non-fans understand what the SH stood for? Soon, I began noticing STP and DMB initials popping up in the standard black and white circle format. Sports, such as the frequently abbreviated LAX (lacrosse) and NHL (National Hockey League) began appearing in stickers on Jeeps and other such vehicles. Before long, I was unable to distinguish between bands, states, countries, and sports because there were so many stickers that looked the same.

After asking around campus for a month, I finally realized that all of the OBX stickers around stand for Outer Banks. (If you get closer to the sticker than you ever could get while driving a car behind it at a safe distance, the true meaning of OBX is revealed underneath). OBX-will someone in upstate New York know what OBX means? Is it some exclusive place; a private club? ince noticing OBX, I've come across other such black and white circular stickers: LBI (Long Beach Island), REM (presumably the band), and XXX (presumably the car of either a stripper, pimp, or simply a pornographic approach to sticker cynicism).

And there it was: SH. "That one's Sister Hazel," I announced to myself, proud that I could decipher another sticker. Upon closer observation on foot, I noticed that this SH, according to the caption beneath, was promoting the pride of someone who has been to not a Sister Hazel concert, but to Stone Harbor, NJ.

There you have it-now all you people with those bumper stickers-either get clever, cynical bumper stickers (like XXX or HTML, the more clever ones I've seen) or make sure you don't give out the wrong idea. I mean, what if you have MJ on your car? Someone could assume it's Michael Jackson you're a fan of, and come up to you with a masturbating monkey and a single glove. Or, a cop might pull you over on the assumption that MJ is for marijuana. In reality, you might smoke pot, but you're really just digging Mick Jagger.