The Truth Behind Sexless Relationships

Why does the sex end in relationships? This is a commonly asked question in relationships. There is a ton of speculation as to why sex may end in relationships, but I wanted to know why it actually ends. I wanted to know what key components take the sex out of the relationship. So I asked people, I researched and even used personal experience as to why sex has left the relationship.

One of the top reasons is stress due to family life and work. This honestly should be all the more reason to get the stress relieved. However, when people are under stress they do not always know how to care for themselves. Stress can lead to physical illness if it is not properly addressed. People will use the excuse that they are tired, they aren't in the mood or just not interested. Having a sexual relationship takes work; it's not the responsibility of one person to keep it going.

According to some this new trend of sexless relationships is at an all new high. People are having sex less often. Some estimate that they may be only having sex as little ten times per year. Depression is also another factor. As the stresses increase, and if we do not know how to cope, therefore we become depressed. This in many cases requires medication to level us out. Yet we still may not have an interest in sex. Life can bring you down, and it can be difficult to get back up and keep going.

Even worse, add fuel to the fire many women use sex as a weapon. As if it wasn't hard enough to have sex while under stress and depressed! Not all women but some will actually punish their spouses for not doing something to their satisfaction and withholding sex is a great way to get your point across. I do not condone it, but as a woman I understand the power that we hold when we have a headache that night.

Understandably so, people fall in and out of love all of the time. They lose their feelings of love and attraction for their partners even under the best of circumstances. It doesn't happen to everyone but some. For those that it happens to, many people stay in the sexless relationships for the hope that things will get better. Utterly some people live in denial until it is too late, and there is no chance at happiness for either party. Some people really stick to their guns on till death do us part!

Having children significantly changes the way women feel about sex. Once a woman has been pregnant, and given birth she most likely will not view sex the same way every again. Her spouse may not view sex the same way again either. In the beginning, making a baby for most couples requires a lot of sex, once the pregnancy happens it may still be fun. However for some, once the baby is born it can freak some people out. Some men have been so appalled by the birthing process that they refuse to have sex with their wives again, or for an extended period of time.

A woman's body changes so significantly that some men may find her less attractive with the badges of pregnancy. Stretch marks, weight gain and hormonal changes within the woman can be precursors to the end of sex in the relationship. It doesn't happen to all couples, but it does happen. Women in some cases may no longer view themselves as a sex goddess; they are now a protective mother who has no time or interest in sex. The relationship in many cases becomes about the child and no longer about the couple. This is understandable, parenting is a selfless act and sacrifices must be made but to completely eliminate the chemistry between the couple can be disastrous.

Finger pointing is another reason that people stop having sex. By the time anything would have a chance of happening, the couple is too exhausted from playing the blame game. Blaming events, each other and things such as weight gain, erectile dysfunction can ruin the mood. You cannot take your frustrations to the bedroom if you want to have fun. Leave the stress behind and focus on your spouse.

You should not expect sex, it's not a given unless you signed some weird prenuptial or contract that says you can. Things may be too routine for the comfort of some couples. They may find that when they do engage in sex, it is the same way every time. This is a problem. It is fine for some things to be predictable to a point, but sex should not be scheduled. It should be fun and enjoyable. Trying new things is important in any dynamic of life but especially in sex. It keeps things interesting; it keeps it engaging and worthwhile. Most women do not want to be treated like pieces of meat, they want you to pay attention to them, and yes even talk to them. Communication is priceless when it comes to identifying what is working and what is not. Even pillow talk counts, listen and be listened to.

Finally, you should remember the things that attracted you to your spouse, the way they smile, how their hair falls into their eyes, the simple things. Personality is also a huge factor, if you are in a relationship for sex and have nothing in common, you may need to re-evaluate that relationship, I know very few people who want to grow old with a cantankerous spouse.