The Truth About Being a Single Parent

Veronika Fevers
As a child, I was always trying to grow up too fast. In my teenage years, I smoked cigarettes, experimented with drugs, alcohol, and had sex.

I found myself pregnant at eighteen by a man six years older than me. We had an apartment, I had a decent job, and I thought that parenting would bring us together. Little did I know that in little over a year after my son's birth I would be kicking his father out and doing it on my own.

I was not quite twenty when I had had enough of the drama. I told his father to pack his stuff and leave, and that was that. Of course I hadn't thought anything through and had relied solely on my emotions when I made this decision.

As a single parent, to be successful one must surround themselves with a system of support. Sure, I had a job that paid enough for me to able to provide for our needs. My parents and friends helped as best they could, by babysitting while I worked my fifty hour work week. Financially we were fine. Emotionally is where I struggled. This proved to be the largest obstacle for me. Balancing a "career" and being a mother to my son wore me out and spread me thin. Too thin for my parenting to be successful, and though I was capable of providing for my son, in retrospect I realize that in being proud I failed him.

Being a single parent is a daily exercise in sacrifice, balancing, and perseverance. It is only from personal experience that I can state these facts. If I had known then what I know now, I would have taken all the help that I could muster and set my pride aside....I would have been a more successful single parent, and more importantly a more successful mother.

I am guilt ridden daily. Not by my son, but by myself. I wanted so much more for my son. My attempt at being Superwoman was at his expense, and that I regret.

I commend single parents that are capable of doing this-the greatest job of them all, parenting. I suggest those of you out there realize that if you can get time to yourself, by all means do it. You need to recharge your batteries so that you can be the best you can for your family. Surround yourself with as much emotional and physical support as possible, so that you do not fall into the same mistakes I did.

Published by Veronika Fevers

Veronika Fevers began writing for Jam Rag Press in 1992. Jam Rag Press was a Detroit based independent music magazine. In addition to writing album and concert reviews, Veronika also interviewed many musical...  View profile

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  • Alban Mehling3/3/2009

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