The Truth About Child Molestation
The crime of molestation is hard enough on parents. However, in a situation where parents are divorced and children are shuttled back and forth the problem of molestation strengthens. It provides a situation where a parent is no longer in total control of a child's surroundings or the people they come in contact with. The need to be informed about this heinous crime is now imperative.
With the ushering in of the information age it is utterly amazing that even today we are unaware of the dangers that face our children. According to many national studies the average parent still believes many of the myths from decades ago. The following are some examples of the myths parents believe as well as the truths that they must face.
Molesters are strangers. Studies show that most molesters know the child they are molesting. Many have direct access to the child. A molester can be anyone from a trusted family friend to a parent.
Only step parents molest. This statement gives some parents a false sense of security. Studies show that many natural parents molest as well. There are also many instances when the molester is a younger or older sibling. The act of molestation has nothing to do with family ties.
Molesters need quiet out of the way places to commit the act. The very thought that something like molestation could happen under their very noses terrifies parents. Molesters know this and therefore can feed off of it. There have been many cases where molestation has taken place right out in the open without anyone realizing it. A molester, who is someone trusted, can sit a child on his lap or take a walk with a child and no one would be the wiser.
You can tell a molester just by the way he looks. In recent years there have been many cases where the molesters are clergy, doctors, nurses, trusted members of the community. Molesters don't always wear their sickness on the outside, if they did they would never have the chance to molest. Adults who molest children are often in a position of power. Many times this is what prompts the molestation in the first place. The feeling of power that the adult is gaining over the child is what provokes his/her urge to molest.
Molesters aren't getting any sex from their spouses. Although many studies have shown that many molesters have poor sexual relations this is not always the case. Sometimes, as stated earlier, the molestation is just about power. The act gives the perpetrator control over something in his/her life that he/she might not otherwise have.
These are just a few of the myths about child molestation. There are too many to fit into one article. But if you suspect that your child many have been molested it is wise to take action first and ask questions later. The child's life is at stake. There are many resources today for a parent who suspects their child may be a victim of molestation. Local agencies offer a wide range of services which can include help in reporting the crime and counseling for both the parents and the child as well as many others. If you suspect something is happening and don't feel comfortable calling a local number there is a national hot line number. It is 1-800-248-8020. This hot line is Child Quest Intl. They deal with situations in which children have been abducted, abused or exploited. It takes little effort to see the sad state our society is in today. We live in a world where our children are shooting at each other. Children often times no parents at all. It's now more important than ever to give our kids hope for the future, to help them see tomorrow. In a situation like molestation, information is the key. Know your child and those who are around him/her. Watch and pay attention to who your child is so that if one day you look at him/her and you see the eyes of a troubled child you'll know. To be informed is to be armed against this crime that takes from a child his/her most precious possession….. innocence.
Published by Jamie Farris
I am a career journalist with over 18 years of experience. I am a published novelist with four novels and several short stories published nationally. I am a full-time writer/editor. I live in the Pacific Nor... View profile
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15 Comments
Post a CommentI think you are probably right. Although if you knew the money that is brought in by many business' that bring them in and how they do it, it would surprise you. If just one refrigeration truck comes across the boarder once a month and they have between 20-40 illegal immigrants, who pay between 6-10 thousand dollars to cross the boarder are provided with a list of businesses that will hire them, are provided with several social security number cards all with different names on them and are given the needed information to successfully make it in the USA.
With, No back ground checks on these people, then any filthy scoundrel can enter.
This I am sure is known and controlled by the US congressmen, our government, I know someone that used this process to enter.
So really it is no longer the safety of the USA citizens that is top priority of the Men and Women in Congress as well as any Government positions.
I feel uncomfortable with the babysitter, first she is 49, second she acts like a kid to the kids. I have observed she only watches young, sweet kids, and she defends herself for no reason? I catch myself thinking it isn't right to accuse her of something I don't have proof of.
Or do I have the proof? the first time I had her sit for an hour, my child had a redness around her vaginal area, she would laugh when I changed her, that was weird.
So is this normal, or should I do as I feel impressed to do and that is set up a camera in my home to be able to record actions of this person, to if it is as I feel impressed, then I will be able to show proof and protect my own child as well as others.
Please give me tips, and opinions on this. Thank you.
I think people who come to this country from anothe counrty should have their backround checked. I think the us is just letting people in and not questioning their history. These people I think are abusers and are trying to get away so they don't have to face the crimes they did over there.
Continued:
Don't need to be a statistics wiz to figure out what is going on. But the alleged abusers paint themselves as the real victims, and usually go after the primary care givers. They often try to get custody of the child to gain more control and pin mental illness on the mother or blame it on Parental Alienation Syndrome. Most mothers do not fare well on these types of evaluations because they have to manage their child's sexual abuse and a custody battle! Anxiety, depression, should be normally expected in these cases, but they are used against the primary care giver (usually mom) to punish for taking action. There are 3 main diagnosis used to shift blame to the mother: histrionic, borderline and I invite you to read publications by Paula J. Caplan http://paulajcaplan.net/index.htm and Carol S. Bruch http://www.law.ucdavis.edu/faculty/Bruch/index.aspx
To Robert: you mention "False Accusations of Abuse: Past, Present, and Future Well-Meaning but Misguided Legislation" Dean Tong's book assumes that when someone is not prosecuted or protective orders are dropped, it means the person was falsely accused. Simply not true. When a person has money to aid them and change a CPS "reason o believe" finding to "Unable to Determine" it simply means the authorities could not figure out for sure what happened,or the accussed was able to erode credibility of the child. NOT THAT THEY WERE FALSELY ACCUSED. Not even when CPS comes back with a "ruled out" determination can one ever be sure. Little children don't just make up stories, and most mothers love their children too much to subject them to the HORRIBLE process of a sexual abuse investigation. When these girls grow up they tell their stories and the statistics show it. So, most cases are dismissed for lack of evidence, but most women report some level of molestation. Don't need to be a sta
A man named Eric Dokken has a 20 year history of molesting kids. He molested my brothers and I. In the 80s all he got was 1 year, the judge said he does not deserve to be attacked in jail. Anyways he has continued to molest other kids. He got 12 tears. After 5 years he was released to a group home till he found housing. He lasted 60 days when he gave a address that was across from a park. Then on Valentines day his caseworker call and said he would be in a group home again. I was so angry. He is very violent and will never stop. while in group homes there are no COMMUNITY NOTIFICATION!!! eVEN THOUGH THEY ARE IN A RESIDENTAL AREA. I have called all the government officials with very little or no support. Drug dealers spend more time in jail than he does. Not they are any better. When he finds a home I will speak up at his community notification, with copies of what he has done, I will black out the victims names. We need longer sentences! These molesters get off way too easy. The vi
I note your article is about myths and it explains how this myths are false, yet I also noted you failed to point out one of the biggest myths of all.
"That child molestors are only men". You always used the male term when describing the molester via "HE", "HIM" etc.
I commend you on your bravery on writing this article. I believe there are a lot more victims of sexual abuse than those falsely acused. The sad fact is, that it is hard to prove that there is sexual abuse. So many perpetrators get off, because of lack of physical proof. It is unforgiveable, an abomination and soul murder. I would rather error on the side of protecting a child than not taking action. Sincerely Shana
I suppose you have never been a victim of molestation, Robert.
You should thank God that you do not suffer the pain of having been violated by an adult as a child. Most people spend the rest of their lives dealing with a shattered life as a result of molestation.
Some may, but most people do not enjoy the attention that they receive from reporting sexual abuse. Many times, abusers get away with their crimes because children cannot confide in anyone.
This crime is an "unfinished murder" because it robs a child of the rest of his or her life.
Try being more sensitive to the other side of this issue, and thank God that you are not a statistic.
who can you prove your innocents if they have prove that it was all lies ,and that person had to suffer all this years of being accuse of a child molester and it was not true.