The Truth About Growing Up

When I was young, I was always told to grow up. The same probably goes with almost everyone, in some way or another. As a kid or teen, when you hear this from other people you tend to take it negatively, but when you think about becoming an adult yourself, in most cases, it's something that you may look forward to. But now that I'm an adult, there's a couple of things that I think are worth reflecting on about adulthood. And I think it's about time someone wrote them down, rather than wait until they have kids of their own and try to explain it to them off the top of their heads. Though these reflections won't apply to everyone, since everyone grows up differently at different rates, some of you adults out there could probably at least relate to some of these things. For all you kids, teens, or collegians who might be reading, here's preview of what's to come, in case you might not already know.

1.) Just a Face in Crowd
When you grow up you begin to realize more and more that you're just another face in the crowd, especially when you get into the work force. For those of you who grew up in high school as part of the "in" crowd, this thought may not come easy for you. But for those of you who lived out high school as an outcaste, this idea may actually be a very welcoming thing, especially with the prospect of having a new beginning. But either way, once you enter into adult life, working with strangers, being around strangers, and meeting strangers becomes a natural part of your everyday, sometimes literally, especially when you move to a new location or go into a brand new job.

2.) Being an Adult Isn't as Thrilling as You Think
Yes, there are several good things about being an adult and being "independent", but usually that tends to fade over the course of the first two years (for some longer and others shorter). Pretty soon, things become routine and then you have to start worrying about taxes, insurance, employment, etc. Lot's of kids, especially some of the teens that I've seen, try their hardest to pretend to be all grown up and to be like adults, because they want to be treated like adults. But trust me when I say that being an adult isn't all it's cracked up to be. If you're a kid, teenager, or even in college, please, try to enjoy your time before adulthood. And I don't say that lightly. But, keep in mind, just because you may not have as much fun in adulthood as you did when you were a kid (for most people at least), it doesn't mean that there's absolutely no fun in being an adult. In fact, it's very possible and sometimes easy to have fun when one learns to take pleasure in the simpler things in life and learns to be thankful for them. This generic, yet very true cliche may not come second nature to most (it doesn't for me) and it does involve a lot of practice, but let's face it, learning to be happy is much better than getting use to being miserable.

3.) Don't Expect Everything to Go as Planned
Most of the plans and dreams you had in childhood or as a teenager will not likely come true or go the way you think. I know there are some people out there who would probably lynch me for saying this, but it's been pretty true as far as I've seen. When you're younger, you have the tendency to dream big. But when reality comes, most people in the real world don't actually achieve the same dreams or plans they had when they were young, though there have been a few. In fact, even in college, a lot of people don't actually end up working in the jobs that they originally earned their degree for. But, keep in mind, just because things don't go as planned (and most of the time they don't), it's not the end of the world. Perhaps, the job you end up doing might be something you enjoy more than the career you planned. And even if you might not like doing the thing you end up doing, remember that your life doesn't necessarily end and begin with what you do in the office.

4.) Choices, Choices, Choices
When you're growing up, there are several crossroads that come up in life where you have to decide where you're future's heading towards. When you graduate high school, some of these crossroads could be deciding which college to go to or what major you want to earn a degree in. But once you're in the workforce, a crossroad can happen any time and even by your own choosing. For instance, you can one day decide to suddenly switch jobs or even careers, or move to a new location, or possibly decide to go back to school. Practically, every week or even every day could be made into crossroad. Sounds good, right? Well, not exactly. In adulthood, you also have to start making choices in terms of responsibilities, such as choosing a place to live in, choosing a 401k plan, choosing good insurance companies, and, if you're in a relationship, choosing the possibility of a future family. Ultimately, all these choices could easily pile up into a migraine-worthy heartache. But the thing is, as you get more choices in adulthood, you also get more opportunities to greatly affect both you and the people around you for better or worse. In fact, some of these opportunities can be very life changing, especially if you become a husband or a wife or even if you're given a higher position at your workplace. With greater freedom, comes greater responsibility and, though you may not realize it at first, taking a lot of your choices seriously is a must for both the sake of yourself and others. But eventually, despite all the choices you may get for change in adulthood, sooner or later, having your own structure and stability in life becomes more desired than anything else. In fact, a lot of times, staying put in one job, at one place can actually be the most beneficial thing for you and a lot of people actually end up doing it that way. And this, my friend, leads to the next overwhelming reality of adulthood.

5.) The Grind
Well, after explaining the fact that choices and crossroads can happen in abundance during adult life, I think it's only logical to cover the next most prevalent thing about adulthood--the grind. Paradoxically, just as you get more choices in adult life and more opportunities for change, most often, establishing roots in one place happens sooner or later, whether for short or long term. And from there, things eventually become routine. Unlike when you were in school, when you had quizzes, exams, and semesters to break up your routine for you, most jobs in the adult world just go through one steady "grind" year after year. No three to four month summer breaks or freshman or sophomore "grades"--you work in the summer just as you did in the fall, winter, and spring. Yes, in most of the adult world, homework doesn't exist and neither do quizzes or exams, but most of the work day will begin to take a toll on you that, by the time you get home, you'll be too tired to do anything else, even some of the fun things. And each day, you'll always come home knowing that tomorrow will be exactly the same thing and the day after that and day after that. My best suggestion: find a job that you like doing and if you can't (and most people can't), be sure to find something that you like doing once you get home from the job. And if nothing seems to work out, and you're at your wits end, it doesn't hurt to talk to someone about it. Remember, asking for help isn't a sign of weakness--it's a sign of being human.

6.) Not as Much as Before
I once heard that when you turn 20 (which is supposedly your physical peak), your body starts declining over the years after. Not sure how scientifically accurate this assessment is, but from my personal experience, that's about right, give or take a year or two. One thing about growing into adulthood is the fact that, sooner or later, you can't eat or go without sleep as much as you did when you were young, without immediately feeling the effects of it. With age, your metabolism slows down and your body wears down. So what does this mean? Well, for all you people who grew up being able to eat anything and everything and still stay skinny, trust me, that will change and, combined with the stress of work, watching your health will become a definite thing to consider. Of course, this may not apply to everyone since everyone has their own personal genetic and metabolic make-up, but for the average person, it will come. This goes the same with sleep. Though there are a few people who can naturally do with less sleep than others, as an adult, staying up late will be the one thing you notice you do less and for your own good. My suggestion to dealing with this future: responsibly enjoy the pleasures of your youth while you can, but also teach yourself to be content and appreciative about moderation at an early age.

7.) Tempus Fugit
When I was a kid, the one thing I clearly remember was how a year felt like forever and how someone who was even two years older than me was old enough to make them seem like an entire generation apart. But as I grew up, one year slowly became like one month and a person who was even five years older than me could relate to me just as much as a person of my own age. In fact, maturity became so relative in the adult world, that a person who was forty can easily have the same maturity as person who was thirty. Whether the sense of accelerating time comes as a result of the daily grind (see above) or the fact that every year begins to feel the same over time is really up in the air. Either way, one thing's certain--time flies all the more for adults than kids. So, in light of this, as an adult you need to realize more and more how precious time really is and how, once it's used, it can never be regained. But just as it's important to hold on to every single moment you have, it's just as important not to be a slave to the clock. Remember, your biggest struggle as an adult will not necessarily be about trying to find enjoyment in every single moment you get, but in balancing the need for enjoyment with your adult obligations, whether they may be for your family, your job, or other people. Many people, when they reach adulthood, have a tendency to swing to either extreme at one point or another--either refusing to grow up and shirking off responsibility or consuming their lives with responsibility under the harsh rule of the minute hand. The key here is balance and balance with the right perspective. Is achieving this balance an easy thing to do? Not by a long shot. Can it ever be done perfectly? As far as I've seen, no. But can it be achieved to some extent with effort? Yes. In adulthood, time can fly either away from you or straight at you--please be sure that it doesn't do either.

As the years go by, so many people begin to forget what it's like growing up, looking forward so much that they lose sight of their past and sometimes themselves. Some people even hold onto the idea of growing up with such dread that they go so far as to refuse to grow up at all. But either way, growing up into an adult is something that everyone faces and it's a part of life. And just as remembering one's childhood is as important as living one's adulthood, it's just as important to understand the transition in between.

Though not all of us can relate exactly to the experiences of everyone else, there are still some common things that we can altogether nod at. All you adults out there know exactly what I mean. If you're going to have kids or if you're mentoring one right now and you never had the chance to reflect on all the issues of adulthood to advise them later, here's your chance. As for those of you who are still young and who are reading this article, don't worry. By the time you reach adulthood (and you will) you'll pretty much be mentally and emotionally prepared by then, though the road can be very rocky. Just remember: try not to grow up too quickly and, when you grow up, be the adult that you're suppose to be, but still be one who tries to stay young.