The Truth About Reputation and Respect

Reputation you say? Let's see what the dictionary says:

1.the estimation in which a person or thing is held, esp. by the community or the public generally; repute

Okay, none of you need a definition to know what reputation means. We all know reputation makes who you are, or at least that's that we're taught.

There's a tricky line between reputation and the essence of who you are. Because the two can be entirely different things. Reputation is how the community sees you and It is your image in the light of society's eyes.

And the essence of who you are is more simply: who you are in reality.

Any objections when I say the two can be different things?

People do some risky things to protect their reputation because in the end, that's all they've got. When we walk down the street, our reputation is perception to outsiders. To those who don't know us, what else do we have but our name? Reputation is what you wear, who you are friends with, your race, what God you worship, and the size of your wallet. It influences how the world reacts to you before you take a single action. The world doesn't care who you are inside. It only cares about what you look like you can do.

There's just one loophole:

Reputation can be created, imagined, faked, fabricated, framed, and defended.

The essence of who you are is not an illusion. It cannot be faked, and only you, your closest family members, and friends know the truth. Why don't people simply accept that as their reputation?

To look better with the conformists of society, men and women go against their own core beliefs to fit the 'accepted' image that's been spoon-fed to them from the day they've been born. That includes the way they dress, the music they pretend to like, the people they marry, the races they associate with, and even the people they shun or kill. To what lengths do we go to keep our reputation perfect? We all realize it's an illusion but we make it so real we forget it isn't who we are.

We've run from our own judgment to the abstract judgments of a 'higher' power. We've married people against our will, have not divorced because it would 'look bad', withdrawn from society because of being a rape victim, committed suicide, and other miscellaneous tragedies. And those who matter most to us end up being permanently scarred by the consequences. So many times we've held ourselves back in order to look better to people we don't even know or will ever meet. The Samurai that followed the Bushido code frequenty committed ritualistic acts of suicide called seppuku. They were done out of relief for people who believed their reputations were shamed forever.

And what about Oedipus Rex? He gouged out his eyes after his found out he killed his father and married his mother, out of pure pity and shame. But there was no way he knew what he was doing and it was not his fault. Any reasonable person could have kept his sanity but reputation can sometimes corrupt important decision making.

In the end, who you are is the most significant thing you can be. Attach whatever you want. Race, religion, gender, rank, and wealth. Do labels truly define you?

The measure of a man is his internal self. Take away his job, rob his bank account, burn down his house, deface his marital image, and shatter his armor. And what's left underneath? Absolutely nothing. Without his armor, he's weak and defenseless. He's a trapped ant under a magnifying glass. The 'man' who holds that magnifying glass is who we fear the most.

The point is that nobody is actually looking down on us. A near-fact:

The average person does not care about the way you look or what you're associated with. He is more concerned about himself and his own reputation. Another never-ending cycle. So most of the stress that goes with trying to look cool is for nothing.

But there's only one way to redeem ourselves. We have to be true to ourselves. Do not sacrifice our personal beliefs for the sake of looking good. The honor of our family and glory of ourselves are just illusions. Many people would die for honor but really, what is honor? What is glory? Take a moment and figure out what they mean.

Now that you know what they actually mean, are they worth destroying peoples' lives? Are they worth war, racism, and damage that threatens the people you love? All that for abstract words.

Abstract:

1. thought of apart from concrete realities, specific objects, or actual instances: an abstract idea

2. expressing a quality or characteristic apart from any specific object or instance

3. theoretical; not applied or practical

Can you taste honor? Can you touch glory? Now is it worth spending your life and resorting to extreme things such as war and family banishment to achieve them?

The world is a cold place and people only believe in reputation, no matter what you are underneath. And who you are on the outside is a stage.

What we must do is stay true to ourselves. We have to do what we think is right. If it means defacing our reputation and destroying our family's image in the eyes of people that don't matter, we have to be prepared to do it.

Key word: In the eyes of others.

The truth and reality of your decisions must be accepted by you, your friends, and your family. They are the real reputation.

There are very few instances in the world where a man can be stripped of his entire armor and retain his indomitable spirit. He can go beyond what people say and set out to accomplish what he truly knows is right. The people want to do the same but are reluctant, too cowardly to face society's judgment. And so, they turn on him and make the man a martyr. Very few men have the courage to do that, the power to disregard opposition and to do what matters to them the most.

Reputation and the essence of who you are - are two very different things.

And the day a person starts to care about the latter is the day he will be a man of respect.