The Turmoil Cancer Creates

My story begins in 1987. I began seeing my high school crush. We had been out of school for several years. Mark and I dated for 6 months when the first stage hit him. I came home from work one day and found him in his pick-up. He was acting very strange so I called the ambulance. When the EMT's arrived he became even stranger. The EMT's were trying to get him out of his pick-up to put him on the stretcher when he slide out onto the ground. Mark began making very strange noises and then done a head stand and spun in circles in the stickers on his head. It was almost like he was possessed. The rescue crew was finally able to get him on the stretch and into the ambulance. During the trip to the hospital, Mark became agitated again and turned himself to his stomach under the straps they had used to secure him to the stretcher. Mark fought severally during his ride to the hospital. He even broke the oxygen tank off the wall.

Marks initial test results reported his blood sugar was 34 and dropping. Mark had other problems that showed up in his blood work as well but that wasn't the biggest concern at that moment. Later that day the doctors told us that we needed to take Mark the the University of Nebraska Hospital in Omaha, Ne. After the doctor made several phone calls it was scheduled for Mark to arrive the next day.

At the University the doctors there began a battery of tests. It took the doctors almost 2 wks to decide what was truly wrong with Mark. The doctors reported Mark had a very rare cancer called MENS. This type of cancer affects only 1 person out of hundreds of thousands and is extremely hereditary. At the end of the 2nd wk. the doctors done a surgery on Mark and removed 3 of his parathyroid glands,and 6 days later they done his major surgery in which they removed his left adrenal gland, spleen and 70% of his pancreas. Mark came home 1 wk. later Mark was sent home to recover. At the time of dismissal the doctors told us that Mark would only have problems with low blood sugar but that if he ate regularly he would do just fine.

Mark was adopted so he had no medical history for the doctors to go by. Mark was very bitter about being adopted and didn't want to open his records even to find his history. It wasn't until several yrs. later that Mark decided to try and get his adoption records opened.

Mark did have problems with his blood sugar dropping from time to time but wasn't anything to cause severe worry. Mark lived a normal life from 1987 to 2000. In 2000 I began to notice changes in Marks behaviors and thoughts. At one point I begged him to go get some mental help not knowing that when he left the hospital in 1987 they knew Mark had a small tumor on his pituitary gland. We were never told anything about this tumor.

In Jan. of 2001 Mark went to give blood with the red cross. This is something he tried to do on a regular basis. He always said it made him feel much better after giving blood. When they took his blood pressure they suggested to him to see a doctor. His blood pressure was so high that they couldn't use his blood at all. I call our family doctor immediately and they requested I bring him to the ER immediately. Once there they began giving him meds. to bring his pressure down and nothing was working. The doctor admitted Mark and began a whole battery of tests. The next evening the doctor came in and closed the door to his room and began to tell us what she had determined from the tests. The doctor told us that about half of Mark's liver was compromised by a tumor and needed to see a specialist. We agreed we wanted to go back to the old doctor's in Omaha if any of them were still there. The phone calls were made and it was set for Mark to have surgery to remove the tumor on Feb. 8, 2001.

We arrived at the University of Omaha on Feb. 7, 2001 and done all the paperwork of being checked in and the pre-surgery blood work. Mark's surgery was done on the 8th as planned. Once surgery was over Mark was in ICU for about 6 days. Mark didn't seem to be getting any better. When they finally moved him from ICU we went to a cooperative living room. Which meant I was to take care of his needs instead of a nurse. It was looking pretty grim but we kept hope. On Feb. 19th which was our sons 11th birthday we began our trek back home. Mark really wasn't ready to go. I suppose I was probably pushing him just to be with my son on for his birthday. We hadn't ever been away from our son until Feb. 7th. We made to our home about 9:30 p.m. Our son was very glad to see us. My mother was taking care of our kids through all of this.

On Feb. 28th at 5 a.m. Mark woke me. He was having severe pain in his chest and was having difficulty breathing. I called for the ambulance. They transported him to the hospital in Grant, Ne. The doctors there sent Mark by ambulance to the hospital in North Platte which was 80 miles away. The doctor wanted to have an extensive x-ray done of Mark's chest to see what was going on. The x-ray determined that Mark had an incredible amount of blood clots in his lungs. The North Platte hospital sent him back to the Grant hospital. About 40 mins. after Mark arrived back to the Grant hospital he went into respiratory arrest. The doctors intubated him and called the Life Flight from Scottsbluff, Ne. The doctors told me they were unable to handle Mark's condition at this point. That is the most awful feeling to have a loved one flown away like that not knowing if they will be alive by the time you are able to get there.

My family all loved up in the car and started our trek to the Scottsbluff Hospital. The hospital personnel there was awesome. They called me several times while we were traveling up there to give us an update on his condition. Mark spent 33 days in this hospital, 3 wks. of it was in ICU. The same night Mark arrived they had to put in a chest tube to drain the fluid off his lung. The next day the put a tube in the other side as well. The doctors told me there was hope he was young and could beat this. So I kept my hope that he would make it. I stayed right at the hospital most every night. Once he was released from ICU they put him in a regular patient room. I stayed right in the room with Mark until they released him to go home on April 3rd.

It was a 3 hr. drive home and very taxing on Mark. It took us 5 hrs. to get there because we had to stop several times for him to take a break. Mark lived the rest of his days with the chest tubes on both sides of his chest. Once at home we had a decent 10 days and then he developed an infection and I had to take him to the hospital in North Platte. Mark was getting weaker and weaker by the day. He had basically stopped eating. The only thing that tasted good to him was chocolate boost drinks but even those became undesirable to him. The doctors stripped Mark of all his meds. and started over with just the antibiotics. The next morning when I arrived at the hospital Mark was sitting up in the bed eating everything he could get his hands on. He even requested I go get munchies for him the minute I walked in the door. I was happy to do so. It happened to be the week before Easter that yr. I didn't want him to miss out on the family so I talked with the doctors and nurses and got it authorized to have Easter dinner on the balcony of the hospital floor he was on. I fixed fried chicken, potato salad, baked beans, and a chocolate cake. All of his favorites. The family spent the whole day with him. He was very tired at the end of the day but it was a good day. Mark was dismissed to come home the next Tues. morning.

We spent 2 wks. at home this time. Mark then developed another infection in May and had another return to the hospital for a wk. At this time they indicated that Mark had another blood clot in his lung. The doctors decided it would be to his best benefit to place a Greenfield Stint in to prevent any more blood clots getting to his lungs. Mark came home a wk. after this surgery. The doctors told us at this time it was just a matter of time. I was working full time as a maintenance personnel for our village. I done the mowing and some repairs in the community. I would work a half and hour then go home and check on him and change his chest tube drainage bags just so he could breath. Then I would go to my mom's and check on my grandmother who was dieing as well then go back to work.

It was Father's Day weekend. I had a gut feeling the end was near. Mark hadn't been awake but only for a few mins. at a time off and on. I sat on our back porch on Father's Day and made his funeral arrangements. I know that sounds morbid but I knew I had to do it. I listed the pall bearers, the songs, how the funeral would be conducted as to what I felt he would want. I felt the end was near just didn't realize it was closer than I thought. I asked Mark several times threw the day if he wanted me to take him to the hospital and he would tell me no not today. I spent the whole day just checking on him and feeling very alone and helpless.

On Monday morning at 6 a.m. Mark gave me permission to call the ambulance to take him back to the hospital. I did so. Once at the hospital the doctors told me there was nothing more they could do but try and make him comfortable. The nurse came in, whom was a very good friend of us both and she not only had a job to do which had to be hard for her but I knew what she was there for. She looked at me and said, "you know the procedure and we need to know if you want Mark to be a do not resuscitate" From my past medical education I knew that this time was going to come and have had to ask that same question of family members of the patient that was in my care but this time it was me. The words hit my heart like a ton of bricks and I just sat there with unbreakable eye contact. This friend knew me well enough to know when I said, "you know what we want we want I just can't say the words". I then knew what it was like for the family members I have been involved with in this decision. It is a horrible feeling to have one persons life in your hands and have to make the decision to let that life end. This is an unimaginable feeling if you have never been in that spot.

The doctor then talked with myself, the nurse friend, and Mark to see what his wishes were. Mark told them he wanted to go home. He was so tired of doctors and hospitals and just wanted to be at home to finish his journey. The doctor asked me if I would be able to take care of him and I replied yes. Within 30 mins. the doctor had everything set up for Mark to be transported home on Tues. the 19th. The hospital bed arrived at noon and the gentlemen put it together and brought in the oxygen. Everything was set up and ready for Mark's arrival at 1:15 p.m. The doctor put Mark on a liquid morphine and was to be given to him every 15 to 30 mins.

The minister that I grew up with out of the blue showed up at my home at 1:45 p.m. He was a god send. He stayed with the family and prayed for Mark and all of us. He was such a comfort for me. My nurse friend was there as well she had taken the day off to help me with settling Mark in at home. Mark passed about 2 hrs. after he arrived at home. The minister was with us. It was a very painful death for him. I was relieved for him that his pain was finally over but selfish for myself wondering now what am I to do with the rest of my life.

We buried Mark on Fri. June 19th, 2001 and my Grandma passed on Sat. morning the 20th and buried her on the 23rd. It was an awful wk.

I watched a very strong physical man reduced to a very weak cancer eating body in just 6 short months. It is very hard to see this.

Our family is doing well and have adjusted to our loss. My son was 11 yrs. old. The loss of his father made him and I very close.

Mark left behind 2 step-children, 1 son, and 1 step-granddaughter. He will be missed forever.