The Tweets: Greatest Tweets Vol. IV

The Tweets: Greatest Tweets Vol. IV is the much anticipated fourth enstallment of this beloved series. For all you Twitter junkies and humor hounds, here it is. Get ready to laugh and enjoy the thoughtful ponderings and exclamations of J Paul Norton, beloved writer and humorist.

The Tweets: Greatest Tweets Vol. IV

"Sometimes, it just gets really confusing in here."

"Alias on DVD, now that's the way to spend a weekend snowed in!"

"I swear Rihanna asks, 'Where the lyger's at...' hmmm, they are made up creatures my friend, they are in your imagination."

"When someone asks me if I have been watching the Winter Olympics, I ask them 'Is Michelle Kwan competing?"

"I am giving up hope that there will be a full length feature film reinventing the Buffy / Angel saga for a new generation."

"Sending Gia home was a mistake. The Bachelor dropped the ball on that one. He will have some regret about that down the road, guaranteed."

"Any news on Tiger's mistresses and when they will hold their apology press conferences? They did enable an addict you know!"

"You aren't going to get very far working hard here."

"You ever had someone in your inner circle ask to be traded?"

"Time is ticking away on Jack Bauer. But, hopefully he will find a hopeful end w/ Renee" - "Renee is dead! What??? You have got to be kidding me."

"Heidi, really?"

"Jay-Z's "Young Forever" is just a lazy attempt. He killed a great song by throwing poorly flowing lyrics over it. He got this one wrong."

"The one true God is a triune God, teaching us what real unity through diversity means."

"Idea #572; T.V. show about a boy and girl, best friends, big dreams - but in the end - everything is stripped away but each other."

"11 days w/out hot water and now a tree down in the yard! I mean, seriously!"

"Efron and Hudgens are not only the most beautiful couple in Hollywood but also two of the most promising actors of our generation."

"This is a joke right???? We have not ceded land in Arizona to Mexico? "Do Barack know about this?" -Sadly, probably."

"Fear of freedom and the lack of integrity to live in it, drives people with all their might to strip it from others."

"Wow, Tiger and the 750mil dollar mistake."

"'Be water my friend.' - Bruce Lee"

"NASA's new mission...reach out to the Muslim world. Ummm...what about space? Obama is the worst President ever."

"The Ewing Theory may be put into effect shortly after 9pm tonight. Probably set us back a decade!"

"Miami Thrice, no limits."

The Cutting Room Floor:

"As far as reality goes, I think The Hills is a really bad fantasy."

"Ochocinco, if my wife were a football player, she would be you."

"Gregory Smith has transitioned seamlessly from Everwood to Rookie Blue. But who will be his next Amy?"

"Is it just me who thinks LC, Audrina and Heidi will look back on The Hills and say 'Wow, I am so embarrassed by that?'"