The Tweets: Greatest Tweets Vol. V

It has taken a long time to follow up my last volume of Greatest Tweets, but here we go:

The Tweets: Greatest Tweets Vol. V

"Watching Batman vs. Dracula w/ my niece. Can't say I'm scared b/c it's a cartoon. But, I'm a bit scared."

"I can't remember if when I open my pez dispenser totem if finding candy or not finding candy tells me I am in 'reality.'"

"Typical boy with a squirt gun in hand, 'I will shoot you for no reason.'"

"I had a thought today, the kind you have to do something about. Then my wife asked me something about something and I forgot."

"You can't squeeze water from a stone, man."

"People set against reading the Bible are surprised, when they do, just how thirsty they were for it; and how it perfectly satisfies w/ truth."

"Can anything be looked at in terms of Black / White anymore? Is it all shades of Gray? Depends...I guess."

"In a crises who do you ask for help, Buffy or the Winchester's?"

"In Gothenburg, Sweden tonight, and it too is so alive right now!"

"Scott Porter, Shayne West - Brothers? Does anyone else think they look alike?"

"In a place where PaRAMeters and PARameters are flowing like water!"

"She thanked me for understanding, but I had no clue what she meant."

"When you say, 'I don't believe in God' that's a start. When you can say, 'God help me believe!' That's a beginning!"

"We know things can be cloned. The '89 Browns? I'm looking at you scientists."

"Droppin' Hamiltons cause' I left the Benjamin's in my other pants."

"All he had to do was take the phone off mute, quietly interrupt the meeting, and ask if D bought more cookies...not difficult."

"If athletes playing team sports wear numbers, why do they still use first initials if they share a last name with another? I hate that!"

Dear Gentle Readers: I appreciate you all taking the time to read many of the articles I post. Without you, I would just be a guy typing on a keyboard to nobody.