The Twelve Bad Gifts of Christmas

The first gift for Christmas that's such a pain to get: The gift you gave the year before.

The second gift for Christmas that's such a pain to get: A polyester suit and the gift you gave the year before.

The third gift for Christmas that's such a pain to get: Perfume that makes you gag, a polyester suit, and the gift you gave the year before.

The fourth gift for Christmas that's such a pain to get: An ugly Christmas tie, perfume that makes you gag, a polyester suit, and the gift you gave the year before.

The Fifth gift for Christmas that's such a pain to get: Five identical coffee pots, an ugly Christmas tie, perfume that makes you gag, a polyester suit, and the gift you gave the year before.

The Sixth gift for Christmas that's such a pain to get: Gaudy stuff from TV, five identical coffee pots, an ugly Christmas tie, perfume that makes you gag, a polyester suit, and the gift you gave the year before.

The Seventh gift for Christmas that's such a pain to get: Toys you're too old for, gaudy stuff from TV, five identical coffee pots, an ugly Christmas tie, perfume that makes you gag, a polyester suit, and the gift you gave the year before.

The eight gift for Christmas that's such a pain to get: Scary looking wall art, toys you're too old for, gaudy stuff from TV, five identical coffee pots, an ugly Christmas tie, perfume that makes you gag, a polyester suit, and the gift you gave the year before.

The ninth gift for Christmas that's such a pain to get: Something that's been dropped, scary looking wall art, toys you're too old for, gaudy stuff from TV, five identical coffee pots, an ugly Christmas tie, perfume that makes you gag, a polyester suit, and the gift you gave the year before.

The tenth gift for Christmas that's such a pain to get: Itchy Christmas sweaters, something that's been dropped, scary looking wall art, toys you're too old for, gaudy stuff from TV, five identical coffee pots, an ugly Christmas tie, perfume that makes you gag, a polyester suit, and the gift you gave the year before.

The eleventh gift for Christmas that's such a pain to get: Mystery holiday fruitcake, itchy Christmas sweaters, something that's been dropped, scary looking wall art, toys you're too old for, gaudy stuff from TV, five identical coffee pots, an ugly Christmas tie, perfume that makes you gag, a polyester suit, and the gift you gave the year before.

The twelfth gift for Christmas that's such a pain to get: An IOU for next year, mystery holiday fruitcake, itchy Christmas sweaters, something that's been dropped, scary looking wall art, toys you're too old for, gaudy stuff from TV, five identical coffee pots, an ugly Christmas tie, perfume that makes you gag, a polyester suit, and the gift you gave the year before.