The Twilight Store

Every week I have a returning problem, and it takes me about 3 days before the actual event to resolve this dilemma. As grocery shopping is a weekly chore around here and as it falls on my frail shoulders to do it, I have to make all the decisions involving everything to do with food and the like. Elaborate lists are made and torn up again, and family-meetings are held, because my family, which consists of mainly men, is incredibly interested in food. This is evident in the fact that they never seem to stray far from their dear friend the fridge.

But that is not the main weekly problem. It is that I have a choice of supermarkets! Of course there are many supermarkets around here, and I've been to all of them. And in my view, there are many problems to be found with the majority of them. Some have the wrong lay-out, some are freezing cold, some have trolleys with funny wheels,some don't have nice staff, and some have all of these problems.

After all these years of research, finally only 2 measured up to most of my high standards.

One store is more expensive, but has good lighting, so I can see all the products clearly and most importantly, the pricing is done in such a way that even I can read it. There's plenty of parking and the place looks absolutely immaculate. The staff are always smiling and the Manager greets me.

The second store is cheaper, but nobody smiles. The floors are dirty, so as I slither around with my "funny-wheels"trolley desperately trying to navigate around the oily spills, I am in grave danger of injuring myself. Not only that, the store is so dark that I'm groping my way around. And of course I'm not the only one groping; everybody is. This results in either arguments among the customers or in hoots of laughter, depending on where the groping occurred. In this Twilight-supermarket there's never a dull moment.

And after being pleasantly surprised at the outlet, and thinking how much money you saved yourself you head home with the as yet unknown loot.Yes, in this dark and gloomy store you never know what you are buying, and thus when you come home the surprises are myriad.

The fancy lettuce proves to be someones toupee and the bacon is actually fish. The shampoo proves to be tomato-sauce in daylight and the bags of cat litter are in reality rabbit pellets. I must have snatched someones handbag along the line and although it looks very nice, that has to be returned. And the tiny boxes of chocolate are definitely not chocolates, but something else entirely. These contents are not for consumption but for love.

I don't throw any of these miss-buys away, however. I either make very interesting new dishes with these new ingredients,, or wrap them up as X-Mas presents. And here come the tiny boxes in . I've wrapped them up in nice paper, decorated with a bow. And then next X-Mas I'll put them under the tree and give them to teenagers. I can already imagine their happy little faces when they open my useful gift. Their parents will be happy too, haven't they always told me they want their kids to be safe? Yes, I'm sure this will be a very happy occasion, thanks to my great insight in the workings of the hormonal state of mind of a young person.

Now I still have to find a solution for that toupee.