The Ultimate Bad Boys

I just recently saw New Moon, and although I have to admit it was better than the first Twilight, I still can't get past this sadly predictable "good girl falls for bad boy" plot. Funnily enough, in the second movie, she has not one, but two good-looking, available guys who are ready to fall at her feet. Why don't we take a closer look at these characters? Ok, first you have Edward Cullen, the suave, heart-stoppingly handsome immortal who is basically attracted to her because she is a "mystery" to him and has to physically control himself not to leap on her and suck the poor kid dry. I mean, how hot is that? And there you get your first glimpse of the bad boy image that will repeat itself so constantly in the four-part series. But despite our heart-throb's dangerous side he is possessive, emotional, melo-dramatic ("this is the last time you will ever see me"! Sorry, but there's just a little bit of drama queen...or king, in there somewhere, it's childish, it's theatrical and it's not very smart. If you were a bad guy, or girl, who had to choose between going after a defenseless victim -Bella, obviously- or "picking on someone your own size" and taking on a whole family in the process, which would you go for? Unfortunately for her, Edward was not thinking that far ahead. So much for dependable.)

And, essentially, all the qualities a girl should try to stay away from in a boyfriend. And having someone watch you sleep is not cute, especially if it's a blood-hungry "teenage" boy, though I don't know enough of the series to be sure if he has hormones...it's creepy, plain and simple. Sadly, he has nothing better to do but stalk the only girl that actually figures out his secret (which was completely obvious, by the way). But, no matter how many red flags this guy raises, Bella will mope over his absence for practically a whole school year and suffer from constant and disturbing nightmares in the process.

Meanwhile, her best friend and confidante, the formerly long-haired-and-not-extremely-good-looking Jacob has undergone a major change by turning into a tan hottie with an awesome tattoo, better hair and a six-pack any body-builder would envy. Unlike the absent Edward, Jacob is understanding (except about his rival, but we all know about the bad blood between them...no pun intended), funny, dependable and...well, there (a quality that should never be understated in a guy)! He is also very willing to protect her -she seems to bring out that side in guys- , smarter in sticking around, and generally a bit more mature and controlled than Edward, despite the 90-something age gap there. But there again, you have a problem. Though I am obviously biased towards Jacob, he is just as unrealistic and from that famous Stephanie Meyer "bad boy" mold and consequently, dangerous. First of all, he has an anger problem, a rather big and furry one. As a result, he has to learn to control himself in order to even interact normally. Then, of course, he is judgmental and insensitive as far as vampires go, old family feud yes, but that doesn't excuse him.

So, here you have two guys, attractive in their own ways (though if you put them side-by-side, it's not the vampire that comes out on top, even in terms of basic health), complete opposites and yet still cut from the same mold. So, which would would you choose, the mysterious "older" hottie, or the best friend-turned-hormonal hottie. They're both desirable, they're both messed up in sad but irresistible ways and they're both very unrealistic. Why? Because they're the ultimate bad boys. Ever find it ironic that they are also two of the most dangerous mythical creatures in the world. Let me tell you something...not a coincidence!