The Ultimate Guide for Writing an Effective Complaint Letter

Background!!
Well, Father Guido Sarducci became famous on Saturday Night Live back in the 70's. He was a cigarette smoking priest with a black coat, floppy hat, and tinted glasses and a very thick Italian accent. He wasn't a REAL Priest, though. He is really comedian Don Novello and not only did he play a Priest, but he also wrote a book called The Lazlo Letters. Now this has been my inspiration since the late 70's, early 80's. The book was a collection of letters that he wrote to famous individuals under the assumed name of Lazlo Toth, many of them corporate C.E.O.'s, in which he complained about their products and services. The complaints were made up and were really bizzarre (such as sending a letter to the head of McDonalds complaining that he wasn't allowed to have grape jelly with his hamburgers because he was told grape jelly was only for breakfast items) but the serious responses he received made me realize the importance of complaining when you're not happy. These companies REALLY tried to make things right so you SHOULD complain. After all, WHO'S MONEY IS IT????? YOURS!!! You work hard for your money. If you're not happy with a product or service you need to complain. But there's a right way to do it and I'm gonna tell you how!

Send an email, right? NOT ON YOUR LIFE!!!
There's some serious rules for complaining and I'm here to help you do it right!

1. Do NOT send an email. Sometimes they aren't even read by an individual! Some companies have software which looks for key words in your letter and then sends an automated reply. When they ARE read by a real human, it's generally a low level customer service person who really doesn't have the authority to help you.

2. GO TO THE TOP!!! Take your time, do some research to look up the company on the Internet. If you spend a bit of time you can get the names of the senior officers and the corporate address. There have been times I've called the main company number, and told the switchboard that I needed to send a letter to the President or C.E.O. and needed the name and the address. I've never been turned down. BE nice and you don't have to tell the person you want to write a complaint letter. Now realize that often the top persons in the company will never see your letter. That's O.K. The Admin will often send the letter to the head of the appropriate department, but you'll get a lot further in a response when the Customer Service department gets a letter from the C.E.O.,'s office saying, "please take care of this" than you would if you just sent a letter to "Customer Service."

3. COOL YOUR JETS!!! Too often we write when we are the most angry. Complaint letters should be professional and you should 'speak' in those letters in the manner to which you'd like someone to speak to you; with respect. So wait until you've cooled down before composing and sending that letter!!

4. DON'T RAMBLE!!! Make your letter to the point. Clearly explain the situation. I have found that people are very busy. If you bullet point the letter with the basic facts, it makes the letter much easier to read so your point will get across better. Include the facts! It really helps to keep track of the names of the people you have spoken to and the dates.

5. WHAT DO YOU WANT??? Tell the recipient what you're looking for in terms of compensation. Do you want a replacement? Do you want your money back? Some people advise to say that you're taking your business someplace else. I don't recommend that because if you are telling them that they've already lost your business what's the motivation to make things right.

6. TYPE your letter! It looks much more professional than a handwritten letter, and check for spelling and grammar. The more professional manner in which it's written will get you better results.

7. An OLD Wall Street Journal article I read years ago made a great point and I include this in either the beginning or the end of some of my letters. You never know how much of your future business will come from word-of-mouth or how you will lose it through word-of-mouth.

8. I said it earlier and I'll reinforce. Be forceful but respectful!

An example to help you! Here's an example of a letter I wrote to a local car dealership. I had just bought the new Honda Oddyssey which at the time was being sold for MSRP and above. Because of the demand dealers weren't bargaining but the at the time they did advertise a free 26 inch TV with every car purchased. They wouldn't give us one becauase of the amount of money they paid for our trade in. I found out the name of the person who owned the dealerships in the area. I am changing some names and dates so as not to specifically identify the individuals.

I used many but not all the technicques. I had gotten a repsones back within a week with a sincere apology and I was asked to please to back to the dealership where we would get TV. 95% of my letters result in a very positive outcome. Most of my letters have not been to local companies but to much larger corporations. Black and Decker once replaced a toaster oven, Dustbuster, and Coffeemaker at one time. All three appliances failed within two years. My letter to the C.E.O. really did the trick!

I hope this was useful for you!!

AN EXAMPLE:

David Schwartz
214 Sodwood Road
Longwood, FL 25018
407-555-9868

December 24, 2000

Owners
Car Dealler
PO Box 1
Park City, FL 32940

To the Mr. and Mrs. Smith, owners of Park City Honda:

Two nights ago my wife and I purchased a new 1999 Odyssey. What should have been a very quick, easy, pleasant experience turned into a frustration that has lead me to the decision that we might not not be a repeat customer, and we have already started telling friends and co-workers about the experience...and it's regarding only $150.00.

First of all, I have NO complaints concerning the salesman, Mr. Gonzales, who was exceptionally patient, friendly, and helpful. He portrays a very positive image for the dealership.

My complaints center on the way your managers conduct business. When we arrived at the dealership two nights ago to preview and test drive the Odyssey that had come in we noticed all the 25" color television sets on the showroom floor. I asked Mr. Gonzalez if we could have one for buying the car. He said, "Sure!"

The next night, we went to the showroom to buy the car. CarMax had just appraised and offered to buy our 1998 Chrysler Town and Country for $15,500. Your staff offered us $15,350, a $150 difference. We asked the managers (Joey and Mr. Hardaplenty to match CarMax offer. They balked, and finally agreed as long as we signed a waiver that stipulated we would not receive the TV. My wife and I were astounded!!!! We were buying the car for full MSRP and the dealership was haggling over $150 for our trade-in. We argued back and forth for quite some time. I didn't like the tone or arrogance of Manny. I didn't sign the waiver and after the debating back and forth I thought we would be getting the TV. It wasn't until after we signed the purchase papers, worked out the financing (we were the last customers in the showroom), that Mr. Hardeman introduced himself to me. I said, "So, we're getting the TV, right?" He said, "No, I'm sorry to be the bad guy about this...."

Manny's argument for NOT letting us have one of the televisions:

1) The offer increase of $150 to buy our Chrysler equated to giving us a discount towards a car that every other dealer in the country was selling for at least MSRP.

Our arguments for receiving one of the televisions:

1) Your newspaper advertisement specifically states that a 25" Color TV will be given to everyone that buys a new car. There's no restrictions in the advertisement.

2) The salesman had agreed to let us have one of the televisions for buying the car. Your manager later added conditions onto that. That is NOT a way to conduct business if you want repeat customers and referrals

3) I called the dealership today and questioned a different salesman about what someone had to do to get a TV. He said, "Buy a car, get the TV." I asked him if there were any restrictions, and he said, "No, if you buy a new car, you get a TV.

4) In response to the sales manager's argument that the extra $150 they gave us for the T&C was really a discount on the new car: The dealership was NOT giving us a discount on the new car. The Chrysler Town and Country was a separate transaction. We would buy a car from your dealership and your dealership would buy a car from us. Four other dealerships in the area agreed to match Car Max's offer and their appraisal was actually less than dealer's "Black Book."

5) We paid MSRP for the Odyssey. That profit along with dealer holdback and other dealer incentives from Honda yielded you a profit of at least $3,000.00...a much larger profit margin than you receive from the vast majority of customers since it is rare for anyone to pay full "sticker" price for a car.

6) I would also guess that those televisions had been given away to customers to whom you were selling other models at less than MSRP and thereby earning a lot less profit than you were from us.

You earned a few thousand dollars on the sale of a new car and saved a few dollars by refusing us one of your promotional televisions. But you have lost thousands of dollars in repeat business from us as well as lost untold thousands of dollars because of the domino effect of negative word-of-mouth advertising the dealership will get as we relay this story to friends and co-workers.

Please read the enclosed article from the Wall Street Journal concerning the importance of Service Quality. Here are a couple of quotes: Do you know what displeases your customers? Do you know how many customers are being lost by your business and why? The rule is that you get paid for everything you do for customers. Sometimes you just don't know when, but by...future business...you almost always get paid.

We feel your managers were being arrogant and unknowledgeable concerning customer satisfaction. We believe we should have been given one of the televisions.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

David Schwartz