The Unanswerable

In the land of Perfect, nothing is askew and everything is as it should be.

But in the world in which we live, lovers quarrel, and the illusory thin line between love and hate ebbs and flows as passions ignite.

There are those who carelessly toss around the word "love" but knowingly shy away from the brutal finality of hate.

There is an understanding that when the word "hate" is on the tip of their tongue, what they are truly experiencing is fear of the unknown and the need to let themselves be loved that much more.

And there are those whose hearts writhe in agony and pain because they find themselves despised when the depth of their love leads them looking to uncover the core of another person.

I speak of the lovers who are caught up in a fight of truth and pain and love and who have forgotten the reason they were brought together.

I speak of the lovers who are given the gift of being cruelly aware of their own faults so that they may open their hearts to love the whole of the other person standing before them.

I speak of those who don't regret content of their words, but burn with agony knowing how much they've hurt the person they love because they haven't been able to convey the essence of their message.

I speak of those who feel impotent in their desire to reach out and comfort and accompany their lover on their journey of self-discovery, regardless of the pain.

I speak of those who alone have suffered thus far on their own journey and who know the intentions of their heart, inadvertently wounding someone close to them when all they were attempting to do was scale those foreboding walls of self-preservation.

God has given us the faith and understanding that the forces of this world are an ever-colliding and paradoxical combination of the ability to make our own choices, and the knowledge that what is intended is beyond our control.

Love shouldn't equate pain, but neither is love a dime-store romance so freely consumed and tossed aside with the belief that this is what awaits us and is what we deserve.

Perseverance.

Commitment.

Comfort.

Safety.

Love in action.

Real love.

Agape love.

Love that defies the seeming simplicity of a society bent on immediate satisfaction.

Love that tenaciously holds on to the original core when the thunderclouds roll in.

Love that understands that there is a future filled with kindness and understanding and that it can only be attained once the rocky path has been traversed.

This love leaves us feeling the pain of our lover's animosity when everything becomes jumbled and the anger needs to be directed somewhere.

This love wounds our pride because we know, understand, and expect that we would become the magnet to which all of our lover's pain and fear and misunderstanding would be directed.

This love makes us bleed because we know that we may never again be able to hold the hand of the person we have loved so deeply…

And this love makes us stronger because we are forced to move on in the faith and with the hope that if our worlds were meant to once again collide, they will.

But in the meantime, we try to live openly and truthfully, knowing full well that our lives depend on our ability to fully accept not only ourselves, but also those around us.

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