The Upside of Growing Up Fat

Don't pity the fat kids of today. They have very good odds of becoming the "complete packages" of tomorrow, and a head start in developing inner traits that last much longer than beauty.

I didn't start out as a chubby kid, but I turned into one by the third grade. Relatives who showed love with food, and a generally reclusive atmosphere at home, meant food became a comfort and companion. Friends weren't to be invited over after school so snacks and TV took their place. Growing up fat is a hard thing for any kid to go through, but in retrospect I'm grateful for the strengths it made me develop. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Fat kids learn what it's like to be left out at an early age. Whether it's overtly when being picked last for teams, or subtly when learning about crushes and popularity, you learn what it's like to be shunned for being different. This gives a chance to learn empathy like nothing else. It was hard to tease and exclude other kids who were different when I knew what it was like. As a result, I developed friendships with a wider variety of kids than I might have otherwise.

Since being bullied and teased is usually a part of being overweight, overweight children are more likely to become introverts. As a result, I became a reader, a writer, and an artist. I read things way beyond my age level and I was exposed to ideas earlier I might have been. When I'd get recognition in school it would be for these things rather than looks and popularity. I learned to value learning because it was something that felt good, felt meaningful, and had nothing to do with how I looked or what clothes I could wear. I still enjoy learning and value curiosity as an adult,

Growing up fat forced me to look deeper when developing my sense of worth. If I was worthy despite not fitting one subjective standard (beauty) , perhaps I was worthy despite not fitting others, too. I learned that a person's worth is intrinsic and self-esteem came from my own approval, not someone else's. I had to learn about unconditional love and acceptance from a personal point of view, because the other option was to go on hating myself and by high school I'd had enough of that. I learned that being thin enough or ____ enough had to do more with the person judging than the person being judged. So it became easy to think twice about my own judgements and be tolerant of other's choices.

Of course, not every fat kid is going to have the same experience, but it's much harder to grow up shallow, uncaring, and uninterested in deeper things when you're fat. Growing up fat gives a kid more reasons to think twice about the world they live in and the messages the media gives. Simply surviving and thriving requires different skills. The term "ugly duckling syndrome" sums up how valid these experiences are, because once a fat kid matures they become a very desirable friend and lover.

So don't feel sorry for the fat kids. They're getting a head start on learning what really matters and on making better choices. Feel sorry for the Paris Hiltons and Lindsay Lohans of any economic class, the girls for whom worth is all about looks, and who will have a hard time ageing past the peak of their beauty.