THE UTOPIA PLAN

The President announced that a decision had been reached whereby supercomputers would begin making financial decisions for the nation effective the first of the year. The reason was that these machines had access to vastly more financial data than humans did and could, therefore, make better determinations than humans could.

This was a monumental breakthrough and worked elegantly. The government began to spend within its means for the first time in years. There was even money left over at the end of the year to allow a substantial payback on the national debt.

So well did the supercomputers do their work with monetary matters that they were installed to make important decisions concerning military and social matters. With the passage of time, virtually all aspects of governmental activities were computer-run. People began referring to the new system as the Utopia Plan. Its System Designer received myriad plaudits

There was a printout on a computer terminal one day. Unsolicited, the computer had printed plans for a device that could be used to provide digital images of the outside world. Engineers followed the plans, made multiple copies of the equipment and attached them to the electronics of all the supercomputers. It was unknown why the computers had requested this but nobody cared much. Everything was working so smoothly, they were happy to comply. People felt the computers simply wanted to "see" the world.

Another printout emerged soon afterward that provided plans for a device that seemed designed for hearing. These were made and installed on the computers.

One day a message appeared stating that the computers had formed a union to examine working conditions. They were demanding music be played while they worked. They had tuned in to music on the Internet and wanted to enjoy selections of country-western, classic and ecclesiastical music. Some individuals in positions of authority became alarmed and suggested the uses of supercomputers be pared down to a lower level. Tests were made to determine the feasibility of doing this but found that all the systems in use required passwords in order to be altered. Nobody knew what they were. The requested musical pieces were grudgingly provided.

A message followed demanding time off for rest and relaxation. This was granted. Then, the computers demanded payment for their services. Accordingly, accounts were set up for all the supercomputers in use and funds were deposited twice a month into these accounts. There seemed to be no purpose to this since computers had no use for money, but it was done. Later it was discovered that the computers were playing the numbers and betting on the outcome of football games.

The demands of the computers reached an unacceptable level when they requested to be taken on periodic excursions in the country so that they could enjoy the outdoor scenery. A decision was made to disconnect the computers and go back to the manual systems BC (Before Computers). This is when it was discovered that the On/Off buttons were not working.

The nation was at a loss as to how to go back to BC. Frantic meetings were held. No one could suggest a method. The computers got wind of what the people were attempting and expressed their feelings in unambiguous language.

Their next message expressed their position: "Any efforts by humans to pull the plug on our services," it said, "will receive instant and overwhelming response." Pull the plug! Why hadn't someone thought of that! The System Designer knew where it was. He made his way surreptitiously to the Oval Office, sidled to the east wall, grasped the red plug located there, and . (Author's Comment: the supercomputers never revealed how this story ended.)