The Vacation Effect

In college, I had this strange thing that kept happening. If we were at a club or bar in the United States, I was basically ignored. However, we went to Canada, I was a hot commodity. We went to school about thirty minutes away from the Detroit-Windsor tunnel, and we frequented the bars over there quite a bit. It was amazing I went from being chopped liver to popular as soon as we cleared the border.

Then college ended, and I started touring. First, the guys we met while on tour weren't exactly ones I would want attention from. Still on occasion, we would find one worth talking to. I didn't stand a chance because I was the sound tech, and I was touring with a (sweet and friendly) gaggle of pretty girls.

After I went off the road, I didn't go out much locally. However, that is when I starting taking vacations on my own. Yes, I traveled by myself. I had things I wanted to do and see, and I was not waiting for someone to come along to go with me. I would go to these places and suddenly again I am someone people want to talk to. I'm no longer invisible.

I would even go to clubs and bars by myself. If I were to go to club by myself back home, the only attention I would get is from the tall, dark, and creepy variety. While I am out of town, that is not so much the case. People want to talk to me, and somehow I am not as scared about talking to them. I have been to several clubs (while on vacation or weekend get away) by myself over the past 5 years and I have yet to sit there all alone. It isn't even just at the bars. I meet people in stores, at parks, on tours, at concerts and anywhere else you can imagine.

I'm not sure what makes this difference. I know some of it stems from the people I tend to associate with while I am out and about. People who are really part of the subculture have a tendency to judge less on the exterior than people in the mainstream culture. Another factor is that I do not have the competition of others. Lets face it, if I am out with my pretty friends, who is going to get the attention. Yes, the pretty friends will win out. Still, I think back to Windsor and how the same friends I had that garnered all the attention on the other side of the river, and I realize they weren't so much a factor there.

I don't know what it is. Maybe I am just more comfortable in those cities. I feel like I can be the real me. Maybe it is because none of those people know me as the quirky sidekick. I have a clean slate with them.