The V.C. Andrews Primer: Part 2, the Female Characters

Now that we've covered the VCA pattern we're going to talk about the female characters and their archetypes. Some characters you'll encounter if you read the books don't fit the categories, but I'm just going to talk about the main ones you'll be seeing a lot of. I started reading VCA when I was about thirteen, at a time when my main concerns were passing algebra and which Hanson brother I was going to marry, so a lot of things went totally over my head -like the fact that if you're a feminist they'll pretty much make you want to tear your hair out. They're fun reads because they're trashy and ridiculous, but not exactly great sources for literary role models. I'm going to try my best to not use book specific spoilers and talk only in generalities so that I won't ruin it for anyone who's inspired by my words of wisdom to pick a book up for themselves --at least until I write about a specific book that is.

The Main Character: Female, stunningly beautiful, irresistible to all men, and totally lacking in the ability to be without a man for longer than five minutes. She'll marry a family member, men she doesn't love, or men she used to think were family members, as long as she has someone to take care of her. She'll also occasionally submit to the advances of a known family member even though she knows it's gross because she feels sorry for him and just can't push him away. Usually in possession in some sort of artistic ability, but doesn't feel the need to pursue it or higher education because she's too busy in the sack. Typically sweet and beloved by all except for authority figures who are mean to her, at which point she becomes sarcastic and bitchy and makes things extra harder for herself.

Friends: The Main Character never really has close female friends. She might have acquaintances sometimes, but they're usually ugly or plain with small breasts or "lips that stretch like rubber bands", so they generally exist as nonentities or to be pitied. Male friends usually become lovers later, which is a whole other category. Even if they don't actually become lovers, male friends still want to be lovers, so they always try something -and if they're lucky the main character will actually let them get away with something.

After this most female characters exist in two categories: evil and weak (I know, right?). After that there are two sub-categories: vain and saintly. Multiple combinations for your everyday "well rounded" women.

The Grandmother: Usually the main antagonist. Every series has a grandmother and 9 times out of 10 she's not going to be full of the warm and fuzzies. If she is awesome, then there's a good chance she might not really be related to the main character after all. She also dies early on. Evil Granny, on the other hand, has been known to commit such acts as locking her grandchildren is an attic and sending her granddaughter away to crazy relatives to give birth. They also tend to get their own book, a prequel, explaining away and rationalizing their actions with a pretty pitiful and sad life story. If she's not super obviously evil, then she's crazy vain and selfish and prone to do bad things in the name of keeping herself young and beautiful. Note: vain characters in VCA tend to lose their minds at some point.

The Mother: We have two kinds of mothers here: dead and alive. Dead mothers are saintly (and get a prequel!), while living mothers are evil and/or vain. Main characters never have a normal, decent relationship with their mother (or stepmother). If they're evil, the daughters stay away from them or try to get revenge. Vain mothers are treated with condescending remarks (until, like all vain characters, they lose it).

The Sisters Be forewarned: sisters are big bad hoors! In VCA, promiscuity equals evil (albeit of a different sort than the locking the kids in the attic kind) and sisters of the main character mean bad news. These bad girls either meet tragic ends or try to reform into good girls. If she's not an obviously bad girl (i.e. plotting her sister's demise) she still dies because there's a good chance she has had *gasp* THE SEX and the main character is the only one allowed to have freaky sex with whomever with relatively few repercussions. Thus, she must be punished.

So by now you've probably figured out that other than the main character, VCA women are predominantly evil/vain/whores or dead/saints. It's the total Madonna/whore complex and inherently chauvinistic. As a woman and a feminist, I'm obviously horrified by this. As reader, I find it hilarious because it's so blatant. Read these books with your sense of humor hat firmly in place.

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