The Vortex Bar & Grill in Atlanta, GA

Hypothesis: A newcomer to town would generally avoid anyplace that had a giant skull displayed at the entrance.

Though the above hypothesis might ring true for some, many who pass through Little Five Points have been patrons at The Vortex. Its gigantic decorative skull, which forms the front doorway, makes it distinctive even among the many colorful shops and bars in the neighborhood.

On The Menu

Its signature dishes are the World Famous Vortex Burgers. If stopping in for the first time, we recommend the Classic Cheeseburger (with a choice of American, Swiss, cheddar, jack, pepperjack, provolone or a little blue cheese spread.) For the more adventurous foodies, there are such selections as the Black 'N' Spicy Burger (which includes Cajun spices and roasted red pepper); the Big Blue Buffalo Burger, covered with buffalo wing sauce and topped with the blue cheese spread; and the aptly named Coronary Bypass Burger, topped with "a fried egg, three slices of American cheese, four slices of bacon, and a big fat side of mayo," according to the menu.

Side dishes include French fries and/or sweet potato fries, tater tots, baked potato salad, coleslaw or Zapp's Potato Chips. Of note: if you order the sweet potato fries (which are delicious), onion rings, fried plantains, or fried zucchini, it's an extra $1.75; but it's well worth it. For the same price, you may also order a cup of soup or chili, or a house or Caesar side salad.

For the vegetarians and non-beefeaters in town, there are "Beef Alternative Burgers," including Veggie Patties, Chicken Breast, Turkey Patties, and Bison Patties. The veggie patty combines oats, rice, vegetables, and various seasonings (an additional $.50). The Turkey Patty, which several customers recommend, has less fat than the beef version. "It might even be good for you," claims the menu.

Though it's more expensive, the Bison Patty apparently has "less fat than a skinless chicken breast, with the juicy taste of beef," in the words of the menu. According to Bison Basics, "Ground grass-fed bison meat can have as little as 10% fat content, sometimes even less. However, the best tasting and juiciest burgers are usually made from meat that has an approximate 20% fat content." Rest assured, however, that The Vortex's version is delicious.

Those who want to incorporate more veggies might take a stab at the Garden-Fresh Salads, such as the Vortex House Salad or the Acapulco Salad. The former includes "fresh mixed greens, tomato wedges, sweet red onion, mushrooms and dried cranberries...and homemade croutons." The latter is made up of "Greenleaf lettuce...topped with a sliced grilled chicken breast, tomato wedges, black olives, and shredded jack and cheddar cheese." These selections and more can be seen at their website, The Vortex Bar And Grill, where you can view an appealing slideshow of some of the signature dishes.

One patron compliments the Fish and Chips; from his satisfied grin, it's obvious he's telling the truth.

One Scotch, One Bourbon, One Beer

Rebecca, tending bar, names Jagermeister as her favorite beer. "I've gotta stick to one thing; it's fast and easy," she explains.

The Vortex offers a wide variety of beers, including some you might not find in your average corner bar. Besides the ever-popular Molson and Fosters, they serve Magic Hat, Affligem Blond Abbey Ale, and Sierra Nevada.

Those beer drinkers unfamiliar with Magic Hat should definitely give it a taste; its various types contain different hops. Circus Boy, for example, is a Hefeweizen Ale containing Cascade and Warrior hops, and Wheat and Pale Malts, according to Wikipedia's entry "Magic Hat Brewing Company." Read more about it here: Wikipedia: Magic Hat Brewing Company - Year Round Beers

Many of the patrons during our visit also had a bottle of PBR or Newcastle with their dinner. One customer, Kevin, says "I like a variety of beers...I don't have any particular favorites. It depends where I'm coming from." Rebecca, in between serving customers, boasts that The Vortex has "the biggest single malt scotch collection" of any bar you can find.

On their website, a section entitled "Vortex Staff Booze Secrets" recommends such drinks as the "Grinch Special," consisting of "Bud Lite [sic] in a bottle with a shot of Grand Marnier on the side." That one is a favorite of Hank, the owner. Meanwhile, Blase, a server/bartender at the Midtown location, recommends Big Red, made up of "a shot of Goldschlager and Tequila." More recommendations are available at the site.

Newcomers may be amused to read "An Amateur's Guide To Bar Etiquette," a small flyer detailing how to be a proper customer. Those unable to quickly decide on a drink are encouraged to "know what you want when the Bartender approaches. Questions like, 'What's a good shot?' or, 'What beers do you have?' are silly and time consuming...we have a separate menu listing all of the beer, wine and spirits that we carry." Also included in the guide are instructions for "Ordering From the Bartender," "Paying For Your Drink," "Tipping Your Bartender," and "Cell Phone Etiquette." While most of it is tongue-in-cheek, patrons would do well to heed the advice provided.

(Almost) All About The Music

In addition to great food and drinks, The Vortex has an Internet Jukebox near the entrance. While somewhat costly, it has a great variety of songs to choose from, in many genres, including classic rock, thrash metal, blues, country, and hip-hop.

This evening's selections featured AC/DC's "Back In Black," Slayer's classic "Raining Blood," Pearl Jam's arena rocker "Even Flow," Sleater-Kinney's "The Fox," and Black Sabbath's "Electric Funeral."

Speaking of which, the bar can tend to get noisy at certain hours, but that's to be expected. If you can't hear yourself think, it's best to find a quiet corner or hang out by the front door.

The crowd also varies quite a bit, but expect to see a few punk, hardcore, and Goth folks mixed in. If any of those words frighten you, don't set foot inside. However, if you don't judge on appearance alone, this is the place to be.

Conclusion

The Vortex is great all around: delicious food, great drinks, awesome music, and a fun crowd.