The War Between Breast Feeding and Bottle Feeding
Now I'm not here to attack women who breast feed, or to say that bottle feeding is better, because it isn't. It is a fact ( at least for now) that breast feeding is the best source of nutrition for your baby. If you enjoy breastfeeding, and think it is the most wonderful thing in the world, thats great. I think it is a wonderful thing and that all new mothers should give it a shot. But if you don't like it, or if it is physically impossible for you to continue, please stop and give your child formula and DON'T FEEL GUILTY about it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with formula, and no matter what some snub nosed women think, that baby doesn't care whether his or her food is coming from your boob or a bottle. That baby just wants to eat and as long as you are supplying food for your child and they are happy and healthy from that, you are doing a wonderful job as a mother.
So, why should I know what I'm talking about? Well, I'm certainly no medical professional, but I have bottle fed two children, and with my first daughter here's what happened. When I had my first daughter three years ago, I thought for sure that I was going to breast feed her. According to all of the books I read it was suppose to be an amazing experience, and if I wanted my child to be healthy and bond with me, it was the only way to go. Well, unfortunately at that time I had no idea that soon after I gave birth to my daughter I would develop postpartum depression. For those of you who have or have had this disorder, you know just how hard it is physically and psychologically to do something like breast feed. So, since breastfeeding was not an option for me, I thought that maybe I could buy a breast pump and use that. That way my daughter would still get the breast milk that she supposedly needed, and I wouldn't have to feed her directly from my breast. Well not only did I hate that also, but the woman at the store where I bought my breast pump made me feel horrible for not wanting to breast feed my daughter directly. Her doing this, along with the lactation nurses at the hospital (who I now call breast feeding tyrants) making me feel like dirt for not liking to breast feed, put me over the edge and made me suicidal( I know it sounds a little crazy, but in order to understand you need to look into postpartum depression and all of the effects it has on your life). So finally one nurse who, thank god, had some sense about her, told me to bottle feed my baby and ignore all the others who made me feel bad for doing so. She gave me facts instead of fanciful ideas.
So finally, to those of you who are pregnant, or have chosen to bottle feed, I have a few final words to say to you. Number one, do not let anyone make you feel bad for choosing to bottle feed your baby. You need to decide what is best for you and your baby and you need to do what feels right for you. Nobody else has the right to belittle you or make you feel like you are not an amazing mother. Second of all, Your child will still bond with you the same as any breast fed child does to his or her mother if you choose to bottle feed. My children are very attached to me and there has never been a question in my mind as to whether or not they are bonded with me. Lastly, bottle feeding your baby will not make him or her fat or sick. Neither of my children are overweight and both of them are healthy and happy. In fact, I find most breast fed babies to be slightly more plump, probably because their mother uses their boob as a pacifier.
So to you mothers who breast feed and choose to look down on us who don't, all I have to say is mind your own business. Those of us who bottle feed are not horrible mothers, nor are we unattached to our children. You do what is best for you and I will do what is best for me. I love my children and they love me. How I fed them as a baby has nothing to do with that.
Published by Lindsey1017
I am a stay at home mom of two children. I work at home for a company called Liveops and love it. View profile
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13 Comments
Post a CommentThere is no "war" between the breast feeding and the bottle feeding of a child. The composition of breast milk makes us human. The feeding of a child at a woman's breast influences the psychology of the woman and the child. That also makes us human. If a mother puts breast milk in a bottle and feeds her child with it while he/she is at her breast, there will be minimal psychological loss to either one of them from the absence of the contact between the mother's breast and her child's mouth.
The feeding of cow juice to a human child is a perverting of biology. The function of the composition of bovine milk is to nurture a calf into either a cow or a bull.
European women refer to their pets as he or she. They refer to their own children as it. It is not surprising that they are not sensitive to the difference between their own milk and cow juice.
They claim that they are more intelligent than African women. With such dulled maternal, feminine and humane instincts, I do not see how tha
Correction - wish I could edit (sorry) - people could not understand why I *wouldn't* "just formula feed".
I think it really depends on where you live I guess. I predominantly breastfed my first & pumped while at work & supplemented when I didn't pump enough. I never had any strangers be rude to me about any of it. If I did get comments it was from people I knew & it was about the breastfeeding only - people could not understand why I would "just formula feed' since it's "easier". There will always be busy bodies about everything - people who will tell you that you should do this or shouldn't do that or whatever...the problem with things regarding parenting is that we are uber sensitive as new mommas & somehow forget that people throw out tidbits of wisdom & advice about EVERYTHING - not just infant feeding choices, etc..and these ones just stick in the craw a bit deeper because we are overly sensitive to them. All you can do is know yourself that what you are doing in parenting is in your best interest & the best interest of your child & ignore the rest. I can promise you that it is
This article was really nice. My area is very "pro-breast" too, so I understand what you're saying. I also understand that some other areas aren't as "pro-breast" as others. But, I know far more women who breastfeed than bottlefeed and the breastfeeding mothers do look down on the bottlefeeders. I was once at a get together with several parents of young children. I had just started giving my daughter her bottle, when one of the other mothers started talking about how "wonderful" it was to breastfeed and all the amazing benefits. I really didn't need her to make me feel guilty. I, like you, had PPD and just couldn't fathom nursing when I was absolutely miserable. It also brought me to the point of wishing to commit suicide, and worse, I had thoughts of harming my daughter. I am sorry that you got attacked by some people for writing this. I think it was a really good piece and it made me feel a lot better to know that someone else has gone through what I have.
I enjoyed reading this article. I am currently expecting my second child, and will be bottle feeding. My first, I did attempt to breast feed and ended up with a very frustrated baby, and a terribly infected breast that required surgery to clear the blockage. I cried before the surgery as I felt like a total failure. I asked if I could try again afterward and the surgeron said my breast could not heal properly and produce milk at the same time, and it was no question that I should not continue. It tooks weeks to drain (chills down my spine remembering) and heal. I remember I spoke to a breastfeeding consultant weeks later who scolded me that I should have 'worked thru the pain' and continued to breastfeed, and the surgeron and my gp were incorrect in advising me otherwise. Is it supposed to be breastfeeding at all costs? I remember such pain, I wasn't enjoying my daughter or the experience of feeding her at all. After switching to formula, she was a blissful baby. I had such
Are really bottle-feeding moms treated so bad? Cause where I live, I have seen dozens of them and not a single nursing woman.I do not really want to make a statement so, when I am in public, I always hide in the bathroom or in the car when I need to feed my 2 month old.Seems no matter what choice do you make when it comes to feeding your infant you would always be offending somebody...
I breastfed my oldest to age 2 and am still nursing my youngest, who is 3 months old and...I agree with you. I don't think formula-feeding mothers should feel bad. I won't let anyone try to say formula is equal to or better than breastmilk or deny the health benefits of nursing. However, it is your choice, it doesn't make you a bad mother, and it doesn't mean your bond will not be as strong. I think it's just a different way of feeding, so a different way of bonding, and thus a different type of bond--not stronger or weaker, just different.
I think your article was great, too bad that breast feeding mothers are the only ones who can complain about being mistreated. They have that market corned apparently, poor poor breast feeding mothers.
Again....I am new....i did not realize it was such a big deal to delete comments. I Am very sorry if I upset anyone. I do not know what else you want me to do. Is there a way for me to bring them back??
Ditto CLW. I read the comments. They weren't bad, they just didn't agree with you. Very sorry to see that they were deleted.