The Warka Barker Stomping Rhino and the Peon

When one is confronted with someone with poor communication skills who needs to manipulate everything to be their own way, they may feel like an ant on the ground in front of a rhinoceros, seeing the impending consequences of a giant foot with gigantic, humungous, ginormous, toenails coming down to squash the ant's poor body, composting it into the soil, and the ants in the trail after that.

Those with martyr and victim attitudes who refuse to listen to other people and their perspectives without getting mortally offended are like a rhinoceros about to stomp on an ant. Unfortunately, for all those whose communication skills need some polishing, they still need to work for their keep on earth just like everyone else, and if the employer hasn't eliminated them in the interview due to some perceived human fault that hasn't been ingrained out of them (communication skill or otherwise), they either languish on the job, going to their own fate of shifting to being an ant being stomped on by the corporate rhino via reduction of hours or they are so important to the efficiency and production of the workforce that no one can do without them whether they are annoying to deal with or not.

If the person's hours are reduced, they are inconveniently plopped into another line of work where they can again make the same mistakes with no feedback so they can irritate, stomp on, agitate, bug, bother, and annoy other co-workers, or they may actually be very needed on the job and the workplace puts up with them because of their efficiency, productivity, and ability to get things done. Workplaces, along with all the training on the computers for sales or anything else ought to have at least a basic training on communication skills, and mandatory modules to complete. For regular wage earners, taking a weekend workshop in effective communication skills for the workplace may be effectively impossible. The next best thing is to check out the books on Amazon on communication skills.

The question is, "Can the rhino at workplaces or homes be trained not to stomp on ants?" If you don't perceive the difficult person as a rhino bullying everyone else, and you arm yourself with courses on difficult people and how to effectively communicate with those who aren't listening.

Insights Into Effective Communication 101, Not Taught in School

How many people who need jobs don't have any insight into their own communication behaviors or anyone else's? Insights into effective communication skills 101 ought to be a requirement for an Associate degree in college. Unfortunately, life's requirements for success are not always taught in college, or even in elementary school, either in class or on the playground.

As to the example provided in the title, the rhino didn't teach its young not to stomp on ants. However, people may act like bullies -- like rhinos which are so big that you wouldn't dare mess with one. Some people are only perceived to be because they were not given feedback on how they irritate, bug, bother, and annoy people. Their rhino qualities could shrink in nature if spoken with in a reasonable, kind, and concerned manner. They may actually be quite sensitive and interpersonal feedback may actually have to be given carefully in personal situations and even on the job so as to avoid mortally hurting their feelings. This may be the case more often than one realizes for bullies, that they can give it out, but they certainly can't take it, when it comes to communication feedback.

Causes of Rhino Bully Communication Skills

For those on the playground as children who were the loners, developing communication skills may actually have been elusive. They never learn to deal with the teases, the taunts, and the rejection that come with school. Instead of instruction about one's communication gaffe or gaffes in school by teachers (who are far too busy to instruct on that and it is all about the grades), one receives teasing from classmates. These are the social controls which for many people produce communication skills. Those isolated children who were made fun of by classmates for being different may learn their communication from books: and may be avid readers, the geeks, so to speak.

People with the right communication skills, skills that employers are seeking, would fare greater on the job being social, because for many people, that is where communication skills come from. If you know how to be social, you can get more communication skills, because people will give them to you if you are listening. If you are not listening, you will continue upon your own unique vein of communication or miscommunication skills. Some people just don't know how to be social, and so for all the time they spend alone, they have not developed the same standard of communication skills.

It is often said that the one who gets hired and promoted was the one who socialized and got C's. Performance is important, but so is teamwork. Today's buzzwords in advertising for employees is to be a high-energy team player who excels in multitasking in a fast-paced environment. Teamwork is done through communication. If you have a rhino on the team stomping on the other team players, work will not work. In that case, an expensive course might be the ticket, or a ton of books off of the Internet to grasp why people are so annoying. You can find a list of interesting books at the end of this article on how to deal with difficult people, the rhinos of communication.

Then there are people who moan, groan, whine, kvetch, bitch, complain, gripe, and need to throw pity parties. Just what is their problem? Can it be fixed? See Effective Communication Skills for the Home and Workplace No. 1

Some books worth taking a look at:

Dealing with People You Can't Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst by Dr. Rick Brinkman, Dr. Rick Kirschner, Dr. Rick Kirschner, and Dr. Rick Brinkman

Perfect Phrases for Dealing with Difficult People: Hundreds of Ready-to-Use Phrases for Handling Conflict, Confrontations and Challenging Personalities by Susan Benjamin

Coping with Difficult People: The Proven-Effective Battle Plan That Has Helped Millions Deal with the Troublemakers in Their Lives at Home and at Work by Robert M. Bramson

201 Ways to Deal With Difficult People (Quick-Tip Survival Guides) by Alan Axelrod, James Holtje, and James Holtje

The Winner's Attitude: Using the "Switch" Method to Change How You Deal with Difficult People and Get the Best Out of Any Situation at Work by Jeff Gee, et al.

Dealing with Difficult People: How to Deal with Nasty Customers, Demanding Bosses and Annoying Co-workers by Roberta Cava

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Sources:
Dealing with Difficult People: How to communicate with tact and skill.
Universal Class ™, Online Class: Dealing With Difficult People
20 Tips for Dealing with Difficult People, Kathryn Vercillo.