The Week of a Hopeless Fat Ass

My life is a living doughnut sourrounded by low fat salads. This is the diary of me.i dont think im in denyal. " keela your fat and all those stares are not glued to your ass because its fine but because its a planet with orbiting pizzas, sugar, and god knows what you put in that pig hole of yours". Sit back, relax, and prepare to hear how ridiculous evryone else is...thats right I MIGHT BE BIG but I aint small...wait ...god dammit.

MONDAY, JUNE 5TH:( I never knew i could create a tsunami in a public pool.)
I can slap summer in the face because today it made my life a little worse. Let me paint it for you. One of the hottest days of summer and just my luck that I cant even lay in my own bathtub because it will spill over. for some odd reason i thought it wouldnt be such a bad idea to go to the public pool (which happened to be filled with all the people i did not want to see me) jesus christ everyone is wearing bathing suits and i look like i came out of a pile of shit filled with extra large mickey mouse shirts and shorts that could fit 100 people at once. just imagine ...i come in through the gate and sit down on the floor...yes the floor i cant sit on the chairs because of course my ass will pummle it to pieces. after about 3 hrs of baking my fat ass i decide to jump in the pool.

now everyone is minding there own buisness as im flying through the air feeling the breeze up through my gay ass mickey shirt...i hit the water with tremendous power...the feeling...the rush...the cool off from the swealtering sun...i open my eyes under the water and see a liilte boy bieng pushed away helplessy by all the pressure i created...as i rose up to the surface with a smile on my face...feeling like a million bucks...i notice there is no noise..and everyone..all 150 people staring at me...and that little boy i saw under the water trying to catch his breath....3...2...1......laughter as i came out of the pool drenched in my own embarassment and my soaked mickey shirt revealing all my rolls of pancakes i ate that morning. Tsunami girl is what i am known as at the local pool. what the hell of a monday is that?? im gonna go eat some pizza.

TUESDAY, JUNE 6TH:(I broke my arm doing pushups..trying at least)
well...my arm is broken and so is my desire to ever try excersing again. After a day of eating and sleeping my brain decides that if i do some push ups it will prevent the 4 pounds i already gained in eight hours. as i was tying to push my fat ass up off the ground with my weak arms filled with tremendous amounts of failure food i see the peice of candy i dropped the other day but couldnt find it on the floor because ..well.. what the hell why should i bend over when i can get one..or two at the table anyways as im pushing myself up i cant help but think to reach for that tootsie roll my lump of dough was craving for so as im trying to do the push up with one hand i tried to reach for the piece of candy with the other....gravity took its course....i think you know what happened next.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 7TH:(my online boyfriend dumped me)
I spent the entire day preparing for my date with lover_boy123. I stayed in my pajamas, covered the couch with extra soft blankets, bought 5 extra large bags of nachos and set the lap top comfortably on my stomach. i talked to lover_boy123 for 3 weeks he kept asking for my picture but of course i was scared he would say "what the fuck is that?" but today he told me he loved me no matter what i looked like and i got up to get a doughnut because i was so happy. i decided to send him a picture my mom took of me when i was sleeping on the floor. afer about one second i think my computer deleted me from his myspace, yahoo, and somehow was able to changed his cell phone number.......hmmm

THURSAY,JUNE 8TH:(my shoes dont fit..did they shrink?)
i was putting on my shoes today and they didnt fit...thats weird they fit yesterday .

FRIDAY,JUNE 9TH:( I ate dog food...accident)
i went to my mothers house today and she was cooking dinner and told me that there was a snack by the table in the hall. my mother has a dog. i went to the hall and saw a bag of groceries on the floor and a bowl of tuna looking salad on the table i assumed that was for me since it was prepared. i ate it all it was really tasty. later that evening my mom asked if i saw the dog food she had left on the table in the hall...i didnt say anything.

SATERDAY, JUNE 10TH:( i went shopping)
um...lets just say i couldnt even find a decent thong in the super large section of the large womens lingerie section.

SUNDAY, JUNE 11TH:(church in my living room)
My pastor told me i needed to devote time to god on sundays... i do that. i lay on my couch and watch christian programs all day. i orderd chinease. geez i saw a commercial with this really fat girl who sat on her ass almost everyday, what a loser such a hoples fat ass.