The Weird News Weekly Review, August 17-21

This week in the weird news weekly review, we have eye rolling aplenty, a feel good story and a woman who lost her mind. Read on to find out all the details.

From the DOH! Files

You gotta have guts or no brains to do what this guy did. Robert Lloyd Finder, 26, is sitting in the Coos County Jail in Oregon facing a laundry list of charges.

This county has a small police department, and all 16 officers left to respond to an assault call. Along comes Mr. Finder who noticed most of the police cars were gone. He walked on in and helped himself to a couple of stun guns, a radio and, on the way out, a patrol car.

Police Chief Steve Scibelli said the outer doors to the station are difficult lock and is most likely how he got in. Robert was nabbed the next day when he attempted to sell the stun guns.

The list of charges against Robert are: burglary, possession of burglary tools, theft, unlawful use of a motor vehicle, unlawful entry into a motor vehicle, criminal mischief, criminal trespass, tampering with physical evidence and reckless driving. Take a breath and say DOH!

Not Very Smart

A car crash, no other cars involved, resulted in the arrest of the owner of an Albuquerque driving school. The unnamed man was jailed for driving while extremely intoxicated. Two breathalyzer tests showed his blood-alcohol level was nearly, wait for it, four times the legal limit!

He failed the field sobriety test, but even without that, the officers had no trouble telling he was drunk as a skunk. Police spokesman John Francis said the officers who responded to the crash reported the man had "an odor of intoxication on his breath; bloodshot, red watery eyes; slurred speech."

In my language that's interpreted as, "Dude reeked of booze so bad we smelled before we got to the scene, his eyes glowed in the dark and he was saying stuff like yeff Ossifer, I'm ferpectly pine!"

That's Dedication and Love

In New Zealand Aleki Taumoepeau, an ecologist, was in Wellington harbor looking for invasive plant species in March 2008 when his wife lost her wedding ring. Rachel Taumoepeau said, "It flew off into the air and everyone on the boat was looking at it and said it was like a scene from 'Lord of the Rings' in slow motion."

Aleki quickly threw an anchor overboard to mark the spot where the ring disappeared. They had been married for three months at the time. She offered to get another ring but he said, "No, I'll find it."

He searched three months later and couldn't find it, but he wasn't going to give up. A recent dive, in chilly midwinter temperatures, almost made him give up. He said, "I was getting cold and tired, so I said to God, it would be really good to find the ring about now." It was then he saw the anchor just inches away and the top surface of the ring glowing in water that is normally murky. Aleki's nickname has become "Lord of the Ring." All I have to say is wow!

Worst Person of the Year Award

This woman is the recipient of my first, "Worst Person of the Year" award. I'd like to know what the heck she was thinking.

At Texas Scottish Rite Hospital for Children, a 13-year-old boy and his uncle were playing with a soccer ball on hospital grounds. The uncle is the one who bought the ball. The ball went into a bush and as he was retrieving it, another woman and her sister were also trying to get it. The uncle handed the ball to his nephew and then things got ugly.

The boy is in a wheelchair and has a pre-surgical halo screwed into his head. The uncle had put the soccer ball into his nephew's lap. The sister, 23, was trying to get the ball and being blocked by the uncle. She began swinging her fist around. They don't know whether she was swinging at the boy or just trying to knock the ball from his lap.

Her second swing hit the boy's halo causing him pain, according to the police report. She has been charged with injury to a child. Why the heck did she assault a young boy in his wheelchair trying to get a ball that wasn't hers? She had no business doing what she did and most certainly had no business to be swinging her fist! I'm stunned, shocked and outraged over this woman's behavior. I can only hope she gets what's coming to her.

SF Gate