The Wendy Williams Lawsuit: My Experience with Sexual Harassment at Work and 5 Ways to Deal with It

Radio personality Wendy Williams' publicist, Nicole Spence, has filed a sexual harassment lawsuit against Williams and her husband, manager Kevin Hunter, according to the Associated Press. Ms. Spence levels serious accusations against Hunter, claiming he physically and verbally abused his wife at the workplace and repeatedly propositioned Spence for sex. Spence even claims Hunter called her late at night to discuss his sexual fantasies. In one instance, Spence claims, Hunter pinned his wife to the wall and choked her. In addition to Hunter propositioning her, Spence claims she felt unsafe in a workplace where Hunter was physically abusing his wife.

During my twelve years in the workplace, I have been sexually harassed twice, the worst of which occurred when I was a single mom to a two-month-old baby. Fresh out of college, I took a job as office manager for an attorney - a single, fifty-something man. I was thrilled. The pay was more than I had expected, and would allow me to support myself and my new baby. The harassment started gradually and worsened over the two years that I was employed there. Similar to Spence's claims regarding Hunter, sometimes his temper would flare and he would throw things across the office. Most of the harassment, however, was sexual in nature.

I first noticed a problem when he began standing far too close to me when talking. If I edged away, he only moved closer. Later, he would put his arm around me at work, and get irritated when I squirmed away. Like Spence, my boss began calling my cell phone late at night when he was drunk. He insisted I accompany him on "business lunches" until, eventually, he became intoxicated at one of these lunches and tried to kiss me. I used my key to get into the office, packed my things and never went back. With no supervisors, no co-workers, I had no one to tell.

I applied for unemployment and found a new job where I was surrounded by female co-workers and had supervisors to report to. I was humiliated that I had been in a situation like that, and embarrassed that my desperate need for work had caused me to stay as long as I had. Unlike myself, Spence is still working on the show, a decision that must be difficult and require extraordinary bravery. Through my experiences, I have learned that while you can't control other people's actions when it comes to harassment, there are steps you can take to prevent yourself from being a victim.

Avoid Working For Sole Practitioners

While many people may have had wonderful experiences being the sole employee for an individual, I stand by this advice, particularly if you are a single woman. When you are the sole employee for an individual, you lack the basic support structures that can prevent or resolve harassment issues. First, there are no witnesses to anything that is said or done there. Not only does this make you more vulnerable to harassment, but there is no one to vouch for you if an issue arises. Secondly, you have no other supervisor to report problems to. And, lastly, every aspect of your job - your pay, your vacation, even whether or not you are employed - lies with the only other person there, the person who is harassing you. In my experience, sole practitioners who harass their female employees are acutely aware of this and use it to their advantage.

Trust Your Instincts

Women are naturally intuitive. And, even if you're not a woman, you probably know when something just isn't right. When you are harassed at work, your first thought is that you must be overreacting. I mean, that happens to other people . . . right? Denial is much easier than confronting the problem, facing conflict and dealing with the possibility of job loss. But the best thing you can do is listen to yourself. If something makes you uncomfortable, then there's probably a reason.

Avoid Contact As Much As Possible

This, of course, isn't always possible. But when it is, try to avoid contact with the individual who is harassing you. Try to make sure that you are never alone with them. If you have to correspond with them, send an office e-mail. Not only does this save direct contact, but it keeps a running tab of your interactions with this person. If they're stupid enough to harass you via office e-mail, then you won't have a problem convincing superiors of the offense.

Report The Problem

Whether or not this will work depends largely on the infrastructure at your job. Ideally, of course, it should. Sexual harassment is against the law. Unfortunately, the law isn't your immediate problem. Keeping your job, and resolving the situation, is. Lawsuits take time, money and plenty of proof to successfully navigate. When I was harassed, I didn't care about any of that - I just wanted to work and support my family. One of my good friends reported a problem to her supervisor, only to be labeled a troublemaker. She was edged out of her job over the course of several months.

Keep a record of everything that has happened regarding the harassment. When you go to your superiors regarding the problem, do so in a calm and professional manner. Explain that you love your job, but that you are being harassed in a way that makes it difficult to do. Limit the discussion to facts, and don't back down if your supervisor attempts to blow you off. Be prepared to stand up for yourself, and be prepared for the possible backlash of the office rumor mill.

Accept The Possibility Of A New Job

If you have exhausted all of your avenues in resolving the problem, accept the possibility that you may need to find a new job. If you work for a sole practitioner, or if your superiors have done nothing to protect you, then a new work environment is the best way to move past the problem. If the offenses are grave enough, and if it's important to you, consult an attorney about the possibility of filing a lawsuit. In the meantime, find a new job and move on to a better environment.